Friday 27 April 2007
My shortest update yet
Yesterday my mother was pulled over by the police after I rang her mobile phone, not realizing she was driving. So, I felt honour bound to link to the latest Think! PIF on this subject: http://www.thinkroadsafety.gov.uk/campaigns/mobilephones/download/2007splitscreen.mpg to celebrate her shiny new penalty points. Short and sweet.
Protect and Survive
Or, "Oh Shit We're All Dead". Quite possibly the scariest public information films ever made, not least because the advice in them would have been nigh on useless if the worst really had come to the worst.
These PIFs were made in the 1980s and advised the public on what to do in the run up to, and aftermath of, a nuclear attack on the UK. How to build a fallout shelter, protect yourself from radiation, lay out a body, what to do if you are caught outside during the attack, and more. As it happened, they were never actually broadcast to the masses, but they would have been shown continually on all television channels if a national State of Emergency was declared and the government believed the bomb was about to be dropped. Seven earlier PIFs called "Advice to Householders", with a similar message, were produced during the 1960s but also never broadcast. Either way, the "Protect and Survive" films were truly chilling, and they're right up there with Threads and the Only Fools and Horses episode where Del and Rodney build a nuclear bunker as a terrifying portrait of the '80s nuclear threat.
The PIFs used a very distinctive style of simple animation and still motion photography, with sound and visual effects to represent warning signals (wavy red lines on the screen) and fallout dust (white snow). A family home was always represented by a cardboard cut - through of a doll's house. Each film would begin with an animated scene of a nuclear mushroom cloud and the Protect and Survive logo of a cartoon family standing inside a circle, along with a summary of the points made in the rest of the series. There were 20 "Protect and Survive" PIFs made in total, all of them with voiceover by the late Patrick Allen and a very distinctive, creepy theme tune at the end. In order, they were:
1. Nuclear Explosions Explained
2. The Warnings
3. What to Do When the Warning Sounds
4. Stay At Home
5. Choosing a Fallout Room
6. Refuges
7. Materials to Use for Your Fallout Room and Refuge
8. Make Your Fallout Room and Refuge
9. What to Put in Your Fallout Room
10. Action After Warnings
11. Water and Food
12. Sanitation - Preparatory Steps
13. Fire Precautions
14. The Importance of Your Radio
15. Life Under Fallout Conditions
16. What to Do After an Attack
17. Sanitation Care
18. Water Consumption
19. Food Consumption
20. Casualties
They were produced by Richard Taylor Cartoons, also responsible for Charley Says (http://takingthepif.blogspot.com/2007/03/charley-says.html).
You can find more information about Protect and Survive, along with reproductions of the leaflets that accompanied the campaign, here: http://www.cybertrn.demon.co.uk/atomic/index.htm. "Action After Warnings" and "Casualties" are available to view on the first Charley Says DVD, and you can also buy a DVD of all the films online: go to Amazon or Play.com and have a look. If you'd rather watch them online, YouTube user pandemian has a large collection of clips and entire films of the series: http://www.youtube.com/profile_videos?user=Pandemian
Scary!!! And as someone pointed out in a comment to the video, it wouldn't have done much good anyway. The government's all safely holed up underground and we're told we can leave our fallout shelter after fourteen days, whereas in reality five hundred years is more like it. Although with the world situation as it currently is, I really don't want to think about that.
Coming up soon, possibly next week after I've been to FI: More reviews of some real classics, including Tufty and the Green Cross Code Man.
These PIFs were made in the 1980s and advised the public on what to do in the run up to, and aftermath of, a nuclear attack on the UK. How to build a fallout shelter, protect yourself from radiation, lay out a body, what to do if you are caught outside during the attack, and more. As it happened, they were never actually broadcast to the masses, but they would have been shown continually on all television channels if a national State of Emergency was declared and the government believed the bomb was about to be dropped. Seven earlier PIFs called "Advice to Householders", with a similar message, were produced during the 1960s but also never broadcast. Either way, the "Protect and Survive" films were truly chilling, and they're right up there with Threads and the Only Fools and Horses episode where Del and Rodney build a nuclear bunker as a terrifying portrait of the '80s nuclear threat.
The PIFs used a very distinctive style of simple animation and still motion photography, with sound and visual effects to represent warning signals (wavy red lines on the screen) and fallout dust (white snow). A family home was always represented by a cardboard cut - through of a doll's house. Each film would begin with an animated scene of a nuclear mushroom cloud and the Protect and Survive logo of a cartoon family standing inside a circle, along with a summary of the points made in the rest of the series. There were 20 "Protect and Survive" PIFs made in total, all of them with voiceover by the late Patrick Allen and a very distinctive, creepy theme tune at the end. In order, they were:
1. Nuclear Explosions Explained
2. The Warnings
3. What to Do When the Warning Sounds
4. Stay At Home
5. Choosing a Fallout Room
6. Refuges
7. Materials to Use for Your Fallout Room and Refuge
8. Make Your Fallout Room and Refuge
9. What to Put in Your Fallout Room
10. Action After Warnings
11. Water and Food
12. Sanitation - Preparatory Steps
13. Fire Precautions
14. The Importance of Your Radio
15. Life Under Fallout Conditions
16. What to Do After an Attack
17. Sanitation Care
18. Water Consumption
19. Food Consumption
20. Casualties
They were produced by Richard Taylor Cartoons, also responsible for Charley Says (http://takingthepif.blogspot.com/2007/03/charley-says.html).
You can find more information about Protect and Survive, along with reproductions of the leaflets that accompanied the campaign, here: http://www.cybertrn.demon.co.uk/atomic/index.htm. "Action After Warnings" and "Casualties" are available to view on the first Charley Says DVD, and you can also buy a DVD of all the films online: go to Amazon or Play.com and have a look. If you'd rather watch them online, YouTube user pandemian has a large collection of clips and entire films of the series: http://www.youtube.com/profile_videos?user=Pandemian
Scary!!! And as someone pointed out in a comment to the video, it wouldn't have done much good anyway. The government's all safely holed up underground and we're told we can leave our fallout shelter after fourteen days, whereas in reality five hundred years is more like it. Although with the world situation as it currently is, I really don't want to think about that.
Coming up soon, possibly next week after I've been to FI: More reviews of some real classics, including Tufty and the Green Cross Code Man.
Thursday 26 April 2007
Geronimo
According to the email from Film Images, I'm "welcome to spend the day with them", which is, by my calculation, seven hours!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyone for "Apaches" and "Fireworks Safety - Parents"? Got to get my absent - minded personal tutor to actually sign the letter for me first, then I can make an appointment, preferably for next week (I hope.)
Meanwhile, Applemask has come up trumps again with this gem of a PIF from 1989: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2G9yyD4qrGg. I first saw it at one of the BFI's screenings in September/October to commemorate the 60th anniversary of the COI, though I can't remember which one. This Health Education Authority campaign introduced us to octogenarian Fred Brewster, who assures the viewers that kids today don't know they're born - because back in his day, condoms were reusable. And he called his willy wallpaper "Geronimo". Riiiiiiiiiight! Then he goes on to tell us that he had to wash, dry and powder it with chalk after each shag, and that wearing it was "like having a bath with your socks on." Er, thanks, Mr B. That was a bit more than we wanted to know. I'll never find out whether my own grandad (who will be 79 this year) had a "Geronimo", because I would rather cover myself in honey and leap naked into the bear pit at Whipsnade Zoo than ask about it. But, in the words of Applemask, this IS a groovy PIF - "if you can get past the fact that it's an old man talking about his condom." I've got both "Don't Die of Ignorance" AIDS films, with voiceover by John Hurt, on my wish list for next week.
And just in case you weren't aware of the many adverse consequences of failing to wear a condom, this PIF from Belgium will leave you in no doubt about one of them: http://www.boardsmag.com/screeningroom/animation/1146/
Meanwhile, Applemask has come up trumps again with this gem of a PIF from 1989: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2G9yyD4qrGg. I first saw it at one of the BFI's screenings in September/October to commemorate the 60th anniversary of the COI, though I can't remember which one. This Health Education Authority campaign introduced us to octogenarian Fred Brewster, who assures the viewers that kids today don't know they're born - because back in his day, condoms were reusable. And he called his willy wallpaper "Geronimo". Riiiiiiiiiight! Then he goes on to tell us that he had to wash, dry and powder it with chalk after each shag, and that wearing it was "like having a bath with your socks on." Er, thanks, Mr B. That was a bit more than we wanted to know. I'll never find out whether my own grandad (who will be 79 this year) had a "Geronimo", because I would rather cover myself in honey and leap naked into the bear pit at Whipsnade Zoo than ask about it. But, in the words of Applemask, this IS a groovy PIF - "if you can get past the fact that it's an old man talking about his condom." I've got both "Don't Die of Ignorance" AIDS films, with voiceover by John Hurt, on my wish list for next week.
And just in case you weren't aware of the many adverse consequences of failing to wear a condom, this PIF from Belgium will leave you in no doubt about one of them: http://www.boardsmag.com/screeningroom/animation/1146/
Wednesday 25 April 2007
The Finishing Line
This is the BIG DADDY of scary. I hadn't actually seen it before, but I'm 19 years old and it still frightens the life out of me.
I'll start by pointing out that "The Finishing Line" is not technically a PIF, because it was made by British Transport Films and not the COI. It's what Wikipedia calls an "honourary" PIF or what I call a "Not - PIF" or "Isn't - a - PIF - but - might - as - well - be - PIF." I probably won't cover too many of those on here, but this one is iconic and too good not to post about. Anyway, it's an educational film from 1977, nearly half an hour long, directed by John Krish (also famous for nostalgic 1953 piece The Elephant Will Never Forget, about the demise of Britain's trams) and warning children not to trespass on the railways. And it pulls NO punches. It was shown in some schools by invitation and received several full length showings on TV, but the studio audiences of children were so upset by the film that it became the subject of a debate on "Nationwide". According to British Transport Films, it won the Certificate of Appreciation (Top Category) and Oberhausen Mention at the Festival of Youth Paris, and was filmed at what is now Watton at Stone station on the WAGN Hertford North Loop.
"The Finishing Line" became so controversial that it was replaced in 1979 by the somewhat less graphic "Robbie". If anyone knows where I can get hold of that one (any version), please do let me know. If you're in a UK school, college, university (or other place of education) or a public library, you should be able to view the full - length "Finishing Line" at Screen Online: http://www.screenonline.org.uk/film/id/1077210/index.html. Otherwise, you'll have to go to the BFI website and console yourself with the opening scenes only: http://creative.bfi.org.uk/titles/7239.html.
"Good morning, boys and girls!" a voice booms as the credits roll and the film begins. "It has been brought to my notice that some of you have been playing on the railway again." It's good enough for Monty Python. "You are old enough to understand that the railway is not the place for any kind of games. I'LL SAY IT AGAIN! THE RAILWAY IS NOT THE GAME FIELD!" That's all news to the eight - or nine - year - old hero of the piece, who is sitting on a railway bridge looking out over the tracks. "Yeah, but if it was, I'd have special races and plenty of trains!" he thinks to himself. "There'd be my special scoring system and a big score board twenty feet high! I'd ask all the parents to come. Oh yeah, I nearly forgot! I'd have a band!" The rest of the film is his daydream of what it would be like, and it's NOT pretty. If you have a computer chair, hide behind it, and if you have glasses, take them off now.
Also be warned that this is a long synopsis, because it's a long film.
So, our young "narrator" is now imagining that his school sports day is taking place on the railway line. Move over London 2012, this is where the real action is! The band plays, the spectators file in, and the competitors wait in anticipation. Finally, the beginning of the "Nine and Under Fence Breaking Event" is announced, and the children, in four teams, take their places. The narrator tells us in voiceover what said event consists of: "Each of the four teams competing starts here. They have to run up to the fence, break a hole big enough to get all the team through, then you must run down the embankment, across the rails and up the other side past the finishing line." Straightforward enough, right? The starting gun is fired, and they're off! After a few futile attempts to make holes in the wire, the little cheats all climb over or under the fence and the game is on. Amid cheers from the spectators, the kids make it across the tracks, all except for one little girl who falls over and seems to have knocked herself out. Her teammates rush back to help her, but scarper as a train approaches. We don't see the actual impact, just a close up of the "FINISH" banner at the other side. The scores are announced: red team is in first place, yellow second, green third and the blues have been disqualified because they haven't got a full team any more. The mutilated remains of the girl are carried away on a stretcher as the other competitors look on in shock. And the horrors haven't even begun yet.
But there's no time to mourn for their fallen comrade, or even think themselves lucky the track wasn't electrified. Now they've got to get ready for the "Twelve and Under Stone Throwing", where "You've got four teams - green, blue, yellow and red. Each team has four chances to hit that moving train at a distance of ten feet. Scoring is simple: two points for a smashed window, four for a direct hit." A teacher briefs the kids and warns them not to screw up like the nine and under blue team, then it begins. A train approaches and the competitors throw great big rocks through the window. The train stops and the judges climb on board to add up the scores - oh, look, the children have BLINDED THE DRIVER. Never mind, eh?
The next event is something called "Last Across". The kids are feeling lucky and it's just as well they are, because this one's a bit trickier. "Two teams line up on one side of the track and the other two teams are on the other side facing them. When the train passes the GO sign, they have to run across the line. With the train moving at about fifty miles an hour, I reckon they've got about three seconds." Oooooooooooooh, there'll be tears before bedtime! There's a nasty little twist too, as our narrator enthusiastically tells us: "But one cheat today is that only the judges know what speed the train will be travelling at. It could be doing eighty, in which case they have a lot less than three seconds!" I bet all those scary Japanese film directors who make their fortune from ultra - violent guro porn wish they could come up with stuff like this! Naturally, some of the kids seem reluctant to take part, and start bickering about who's brave enough or not. The train's coming and they scramble across, but not everyone makes it. Some of them fall over and others seem to just give up and drop. Sure enough, within seconds they've been turned into mincemeat.
Doesn't look like our "athletes" are in any fit state to do the last event, but at least "The Great Tunnel Walk" sounds nice and gentle. And out of nowhere they've dredged up a hundred or so more kids to take part. "Now, this Great Tunnel Walk! The tunnel itself is three miles long! And dark, and wet, and smelly and horrible!" Gee, I wonder if the rail company will let us hire it for Grandad's 80th? "And once inside, there'll be no turning back! You've got to keep going, and whoever manages to make their way out the other end will be the winner!" Piece of piss, or so you'd think. Literally more than a hundred children line up across the tracks, then the starting gun is fired. It's an endurance test, not a race, and they seem to be making good progress. OH, WAIT, THERE'S A BLOODY GREAT TRAIN COMING AT THE OTHER END. The band plays, the heavily injured "winners" give their names to the judges and are dragged off for medical attention before being officially declared the victors. The dead, that's everybody else, are brought out from the tunnel and arranged in a long line across the track. The camera slowly zooms out from the carnage before returning to real life, with the narrator still on the railway bridge. The stern voice from the very beginning warns "So if any of you think that playing on the railway is a good idea, perhaps he or she would care to stand up." There. Wasn't that lovely, boys and girls? Perhaps your school might like to give it a go next year?
The film was written by John Krish and Michael Gilmour, and produced by James Ritchie. The child "stars" are credited as "the juniors and seniors of Roebuck Junior School, Watton - at - Stone Primary School and the Simon Balle School, Hertfordshire". Graphic and shocking it might have been, but "The Finishing Line" got the message across. That's more than can be said for a lot of the PIFs being broadcast on our screens today. I have written up a full transcript of "The Finishing Line" but won't post it here, so if anyone would like me to upload it elsewhere, comment and let me know.
And even if it's not quite up to the same standards, this gentleman managed to successfully make the same point in less than a minute of film: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3o2ymRD2aGM
I'll start by pointing out that "The Finishing Line" is not technically a PIF, because it was made by British Transport Films and not the COI. It's what Wikipedia calls an "honourary" PIF or what I call a "Not - PIF" or "Isn't - a - PIF - but - might - as - well - be - PIF." I probably won't cover too many of those on here, but this one is iconic and too good not to post about. Anyway, it's an educational film from 1977, nearly half an hour long, directed by John Krish (also famous for nostalgic 1953 piece The Elephant Will Never Forget, about the demise of Britain's trams) and warning children not to trespass on the railways. And it pulls NO punches. It was shown in some schools by invitation and received several full length showings on TV, but the studio audiences of children were so upset by the film that it became the subject of a debate on "Nationwide". According to British Transport Films, it won the Certificate of Appreciation (Top Category) and Oberhausen Mention at the Festival of Youth Paris, and was filmed at what is now Watton at Stone station on the WAGN Hertford North Loop.
"The Finishing Line" became so controversial that it was replaced in 1979 by the somewhat less graphic "Robbie". If anyone knows where I can get hold of that one (any version), please do let me know. If you're in a UK school, college, university (or other place of education) or a public library, you should be able to view the full - length "Finishing Line" at Screen Online: http://www.screenonline.org.uk/film/id/1077210/index.html. Otherwise, you'll have to go to the BFI website and console yourself with the opening scenes only: http://creative.bfi.org.uk/titles/7239.html.
"Good morning, boys and girls!" a voice booms as the credits roll and the film begins. "It has been brought to my notice that some of you have been playing on the railway again." It's good enough for Monty Python. "You are old enough to understand that the railway is not the place for any kind of games. I'LL SAY IT AGAIN! THE RAILWAY IS NOT THE GAME FIELD!" That's all news to the eight - or nine - year - old hero of the piece, who is sitting on a railway bridge looking out over the tracks. "Yeah, but if it was, I'd have special races and plenty of trains!" he thinks to himself. "There'd be my special scoring system and a big score board twenty feet high! I'd ask all the parents to come. Oh yeah, I nearly forgot! I'd have a band!" The rest of the film is his daydream of what it would be like, and it's NOT pretty. If you have a computer chair, hide behind it, and if you have glasses, take them off now.
Also be warned that this is a long synopsis, because it's a long film.
So, our young "narrator" is now imagining that his school sports day is taking place on the railway line. Move over London 2012, this is where the real action is! The band plays, the spectators file in, and the competitors wait in anticipation. Finally, the beginning of the "Nine and Under Fence Breaking Event" is announced, and the children, in four teams, take their places. The narrator tells us in voiceover what said event consists of: "Each of the four teams competing starts here. They have to run up to the fence, break a hole big enough to get all the team through, then you must run down the embankment, across the rails and up the other side past the finishing line." Straightforward enough, right? The starting gun is fired, and they're off! After a few futile attempts to make holes in the wire, the little cheats all climb over or under the fence and the game is on. Amid cheers from the spectators, the kids make it across the tracks, all except for one little girl who falls over and seems to have knocked herself out. Her teammates rush back to help her, but scarper as a train approaches. We don't see the actual impact, just a close up of the "FINISH" banner at the other side. The scores are announced: red team is in first place, yellow second, green third and the blues have been disqualified because they haven't got a full team any more. The mutilated remains of the girl are carried away on a stretcher as the other competitors look on in shock. And the horrors haven't even begun yet.
But there's no time to mourn for their fallen comrade, or even think themselves lucky the track wasn't electrified. Now they've got to get ready for the "Twelve and Under Stone Throwing", where "You've got four teams - green, blue, yellow and red. Each team has four chances to hit that moving train at a distance of ten feet. Scoring is simple: two points for a smashed window, four for a direct hit." A teacher briefs the kids and warns them not to screw up like the nine and under blue team, then it begins. A train approaches and the competitors throw great big rocks through the window. The train stops and the judges climb on board to add up the scores - oh, look, the children have BLINDED THE DRIVER. Never mind, eh?
The next event is something called "Last Across". The kids are feeling lucky and it's just as well they are, because this one's a bit trickier. "Two teams line up on one side of the track and the other two teams are on the other side facing them. When the train passes the GO sign, they have to run across the line. With the train moving at about fifty miles an hour, I reckon they've got about three seconds." Oooooooooooooh, there'll be tears before bedtime! There's a nasty little twist too, as our narrator enthusiastically tells us: "But one cheat today is that only the judges know what speed the train will be travelling at. It could be doing eighty, in which case they have a lot less than three seconds!" I bet all those scary Japanese film directors who make their fortune from ultra - violent guro porn wish they could come up with stuff like this! Naturally, some of the kids seem reluctant to take part, and start bickering about who's brave enough or not. The train's coming and they scramble across, but not everyone makes it. Some of them fall over and others seem to just give up and drop. Sure enough, within seconds they've been turned into mincemeat.
Doesn't look like our "athletes" are in any fit state to do the last event, but at least "The Great Tunnel Walk" sounds nice and gentle. And out of nowhere they've dredged up a hundred or so more kids to take part. "Now, this Great Tunnel Walk! The tunnel itself is three miles long! And dark, and wet, and smelly and horrible!" Gee, I wonder if the rail company will let us hire it for Grandad's 80th? "And once inside, there'll be no turning back! You've got to keep going, and whoever manages to make their way out the other end will be the winner!" Piece of piss, or so you'd think. Literally more than a hundred children line up across the tracks, then the starting gun is fired. It's an endurance test, not a race, and they seem to be making good progress. OH, WAIT, THERE'S A BLOODY GREAT TRAIN COMING AT THE OTHER END. The band plays, the heavily injured "winners" give their names to the judges and are dragged off for medical attention before being officially declared the victors. The dead, that's everybody else, are brought out from the tunnel and arranged in a long line across the track. The camera slowly zooms out from the carnage before returning to real life, with the narrator still on the railway bridge. The stern voice from the very beginning warns "So if any of you think that playing on the railway is a good idea, perhaps he or she would care to stand up." There. Wasn't that lovely, boys and girls? Perhaps your school might like to give it a go next year?
The film was written by John Krish and Michael Gilmour, and produced by James Ritchie. The child "stars" are credited as "the juniors and seniors of Roebuck Junior School, Watton - at - Stone Primary School and the Simon Balle School, Hertfordshire". Graphic and shocking it might have been, but "The Finishing Line" got the message across. That's more than can be said for a lot of the PIFs being broadcast on our screens today. I have written up a full transcript of "The Finishing Line" but won't post it here, so if anyone would like me to upload it elsewhere, comment and let me know.
And even if it's not quite up to the same standards, this gentleman managed to successfully make the same point in less than a minute of film: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3o2ymRD2aGM
Tuesday 24 April 2007
Pub/Holiday of a Lifetime
I'm still going to do "The Finishing Line" tomorrow. I'm having a little trouble viewing it because it's a big file, but I WILL have it up on the site.
One of the PIFs I want to obtain from Film Images is the World Cup 2000 drug smuggling one featuring Gary Lineker and David Ginola, but until I get it, here's one on the same theme: http://tmf.ecwhost.com/extra/media/PIF-PIFS-DRUGSABROAD-PUB-1970s.rm. TMF says it's from 1970.
I can't find the Film Images entry for this film so I don't have any more background information, but with friends like this, who needs enemies? The mesage I get from this is "Don't smuggle drugs. Not only are you liable to be locked up for years but your so - called mates will be stabbing you in the back as well and your bird will go off with someone else."
Then there's "Holiday of a Lifetime" which was, according to Film Images, first broadcast in 1996 and an edited version is still running now. I got the current one from the COI TV Fillers website: http://www.coitvfillers.co.uk. If you can convince them to give you a password (I got one because I linked them to this site) you can log in and view all the latest modern PIFs.
Sounds obvious, but it's still the case that people think the British Consul can get you out of jail if you are caught smuggling drugs abroad. I know someone who served time for illegal weapons trafficking in Europe and thought she'd go free because she was a British citizen - didn't happen. Just don't bloody do it, OK? And stay tuned for "The Finishing Line" and more.
One of the PIFs I want to obtain from Film Images is the World Cup 2000 drug smuggling one featuring Gary Lineker and David Ginola, but until I get it, here's one on the same theme: http://tmf.ecwhost.com/extra/media/PIF-PIFS-DRUGSABROAD-PUB-1970s.rm. TMF says it's from 1970.
(Ordinary pub with background noise of people chattering. Two men, one tall and besuited, the other bearded and Scottish, are drinking pints and talking to the barman, who slightly resembles the publican in "Only Fools and Horses")
BARMAN: Ken (I think) not coming in tonight?
1ST MAN: No, he'll be in later. British Consul's ringing him tonight with the result of Geoff's trial. His case came up today.
2ND MAN: It's nearly a year he's been held out there. It's criminal!
BARMAN: Give over. (Waves a finger) What Geoff did, THAT's criminal.
2ND MAN: Just 'cause he gets caught carrying a piece of dope. He was just a bit unlucky, that's all.
1ST MAN: Yeah - anyway, I don't suppose he'll get more than a fine.
BARMAN: Don't be too sure, Pete. I've been going to Spain for twenty years now and I've heard of plenty of cases where they got several years for doing drugs.
1ST MAN: Yeah, but Geoff weren't carrying that much. And it's his first offence.
2ND MAN: And he's already done a year waiting trial. They're bound to let him off. (Waves glass to demonstrate)
BARMAN: (Sighs) Look, there's people abroad doing time who didn't even know they were carrying drugs. They just took a parcel through Customs for other people.
2ND MAN: You'd think the Consul could have got him out, wouldn't you?
BARMAN: (he laughs) He can't, can he? (The other two look disheartened) I mean, the law's the law, whatever country you're in. He can come and visit you, help you find a lawyer and that, and help pass messages back home. But he can't alter the law of the land. Anyway, young Geoff could be a lot worse off. He could be facing a death sentence in Malaysia or Thailand, you know. (Gestures)
(Another man comes in and goes up to the bar)
3RD MAN: I don't believe it!
2ND MAN: What?
3RD MAN: They've given him four years!
1ST MAN: Four years?!
3RD MAN: His Mam's in a right state.
(They all turn to leave)
BARMAN: Hey! (They turn round again) I wonder how his - what's her name - his girlfriend's gonna take it?
3RD MAN: Ex - girlfriend, you mean. She's getting married next month!
(Scene changes to the exterior of the pub as the camera slowly zooms out)
VO: If you break the law in other countries, you might not see home for a very long time.
I can't find the Film Images entry for this film so I don't have any more background information, but with friends like this, who needs enemies? The mesage I get from this is "Don't smuggle drugs. Not only are you liable to be locked up for years but your so - called mates will be stabbing you in the back as well and your bird will go off with someone else."
Then there's "Holiday of a Lifetime" which was, according to Film Images, first broadcast in 1996 and an edited version is still running now. I got the current one from the COI TV Fillers website: http://www.coitvfillers.co.uk. If you can convince them to give you a password (I got one because I linked them to this site) you can log in and view all the latest modern PIFs.
(We open with black and white visuals of a man in a prison cell, as the bars open and he files out with other inmates)
VO: If you get into trouble in another country,
(Change scene. A big, scary, foreign prison officer - think 1970s Guardia Civil during the Franco era in Spain - is silently ranting and raving at someone. An interpreter is translating for our reluctant jailbird)
the British Consul can get you legal help - but end up in jail
(Change scene. Colourful shots of people dancing in a club, with background of trancey music. We see a bag of drugs being passed from hand to hand)
and they can't get you out.
(The offender, still in colour, is led away by foreign police in black and white, with police cars and sirens sounding)
Break another country's laws and you become a criminal, not a tourist.
(Change scene. Back in black and white, the man is in a prison cell. The door clangs shut. Fade to black. Endline and VO: "Stay Legal Abroad", with the FCO "Know Before You Go" logo at the top of the screen)
Sounds obvious, but it's still the case that people think the British Consul can get you out of jail if you are caught smuggling drugs abroad. I know someone who served time for illegal weapons trafficking in Europe and thought she'd go free because she was a British citizen - didn't happen. Just don't bloody do it, OK? And stay tuned for "The Finishing Line" and more.
Procedures
Following an extended absence after the death of someone close to me (don't worry, it was pneumonia, not passive smoking or a drinking driver) I'm back and I'm trying to get an appointment with Film Images for next week, so suggestions still welcome. Meanwhile, thanks to the lovely Applemask, I've discovered YouTube user wuzzlevideos, who has an arseload of old road safety PIFs and I'll be profiling some of them here.
So, if the mid - '90s anti speeding films Don't Look Now and Funeral Blues (http://takingthepif.blogspot.com/2007/04/funeral-bluesdont-look-now.html) weren't enough to convince Britain's boy racers to hit the brakes, this 1997 follow up should have ensured the message was received. With thanks to the aforementioned wuzzlevideos, you can see it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOnF8citByU. The Think! website says of the campaign:
And if you were thinking of joining the old bill but road fatalities aren't your area of expertise, here's how the pros do it:
Again, we've got the endline "So please, let's all slow down" and the "Kill your speed" hand logo.
Look out for review of full - length The Finishing Line up next, probably tonight but might be tomorrow.
So, if the mid - '90s anti speeding films Don't Look Now and Funeral Blues (http://takingthepif.blogspot.com/2007/04/funeral-bluesdont-look-now.html) weren't enough to convince Britain's boy racers to hit the brakes, this 1997 follow up should have ensured the message was received. With thanks to the aforementioned wuzzlevideos, you can see it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOnF8citByU. The Think! website says of the campaign:
'Procedures'
£3.5m TV and radio campaign - September/October 1997
Creative treatment
Continuing the home video theme, a 60s commercial uses new footage of children who were subsequently killed by speeding motorists in urban areas. A voice-over explains some of the procedures police officers should follow when breaking news of a death to the family of a road accident victim. Advertising carried the endline 'So please let's all slow down' 'Kill your speed'. Three 10s silent versions show a still image of a child followed by the captions. Family members again talk about the loss of their child in radio commercials and ask drivers to slow down.
And if you were thinking of joining the old bill but road fatalities aren't your area of expertise, here's how the pros do it:
"All officers delivering the message must appreciate the implications of their task. News of the death should be broken with compassion and tact by the officer, without the use of jargon. Great care must be taken in the use of language; for the families, the word 'accident' is in many cases totally inappropriate. Property should not be returned in a distasteful condition, and consideration should be given to having it professionally cleaned. Given the often appalling injuries sustained by the victims, officers may choose to advise family members not to view the body. However, the long term importance of saying 'goodbye' is well documented."
Again, we've got the endline "So please, let's all slow down" and the "Kill your speed" hand logo.
Look out for review of full - length The Finishing Line up next, probably tonight but might be tomorrow.
Sunday 22 April 2007
Update
A quick update: Film Images have said I don't have to pay for the footage if I can get them a letter from my personal tutor to prove I'm a full time student, so I've got an appointment with him next week. Then I should be able to get hold of some lovely new PIFs to write about here. Any requests?
I've also, thanks to facilities at uni, got access to Screen Online's full length version of The Finishing Line. Which is not technically a PIF, but it might as well be. Should it be my next review for the site?
I've also, thanks to facilities at uni, got access to Screen Online's full length version of The Finishing Line. Which is not technically a PIF, but it might as well be. Should it be my next review for the site?
Thursday 12 April 2007
The moment you've been waiting for
I've spoken to the powers that be at Film Images, and this is what they've said:
- I'm allowed to hotlink to other sites where COI material is hosted, including YouTube and the National Archives site. They have considered action for copyright infringement against YouTube but they're not going to do anything about it at the moment because of all the big film studios and record labels etc. etc. prosecuting left, right and centre.
- Charley Says volume Three may be in the works. Network Video (the company which released the first two) has nothing about it on their website, so we're in for another long wait, if it happens at all. It took long enough to get the second one off the ground.
- They will allow me to purchase some of their footage and it'll cost £94. This includes VAT, viewing charge and the expense of them making up a VHS for me. I am not allowed to upload the footage to this site but I can write about the content and production details, etc. on here. I am a student and that figure makes me go white in the face, so it's back to the old student standby, ie. going cap in hand to my parents for the money.
- The nice man also gave me contact details for two companies where you can apparently purchase full - length PIFs. I get the feeling he meant things like the RAF training videos and other such films that the COI produces, but they'd still be interesting to see. Must look into this.
More details as I get them.
- I'm allowed to hotlink to other sites where COI material is hosted, including YouTube and the National Archives site. They have considered action for copyright infringement against YouTube but they're not going to do anything about it at the moment because of all the big film studios and record labels etc. etc. prosecuting left, right and centre.
- Charley Says volume Three may be in the works. Network Video (the company which released the first two) has nothing about it on their website, so we're in for another long wait, if it happens at all. It took long enough to get the second one off the ground.
- They will allow me to purchase some of their footage and it'll cost £94. This includes VAT, viewing charge and the expense of them making up a VHS for me. I am not allowed to upload the footage to this site but I can write about the content and production details, etc. on here. I am a student and that figure makes me go white in the face, so it's back to the old student standby, ie. going cap in hand to my parents for the money.
- The nice man also gave me contact details for two companies where you can apparently purchase full - length PIFs. I get the feeling he meant things like the RAF training videos and other such films that the COI produces, but they'd still be interesting to see. Must look into this.
More details as I get them.
Funeral Blues/Don't Look Now
Found on YouTube courtesy of a user called Applemask, who has some great PIFs in his collection. (Edit: He's definitely male, and has made a guest appearance on this site. Thank you, Applemask!) Both of these are 1990s PIFs about speeding, and they're profiled on the Think! website.
"Funeral Blues" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPnjeVHYQBM&mode=related&search) shows video footage of children who were later killed by speeding drivers in residential areas, with a soundtrack of John Hannah reading WH Auden's poem of the same name as featured in Four Weddings and a Funeral. As Applemask says, the PIF is genuinely harrowing, and horribly sad when you think that those children never grew up. I remember that the mother of one of the children featured in this PIF was interviewed on the BBC programme 999, but not what she said. Here's what the Think! website says about "Funeral Blues":
If I can find the other two PIFs from this campaign, I will. I didn't know that was the first use of the "Kill your speed" hand logo, but I agree with Applemask that it's a fabulous piece of animation. "Funeral Blues" was later followed by "Procedures", which also showed video footage of children killed by speeding drivers, but this time with a voiceover of a man solemnly reciting the official guidelines for when a police officer has to break the news to a victim's family after a gruesome road death. Another one for me to try and get hold of.
"Don't Look Now" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ex5nppYgjYk&mode=related&search) is a year older, from 1995. A little girl is merrily frolicking in the school playground but, she informs the viewer, YOU are going to kill her! Why? You'll kill her because you overslept, you'll kill her "for an appointment", and without even thinking about it. At the very end we see her as a driver sees her from their car - right before running her over. But she ends on the more positive note "You're going to kill me UNLESS YOU KILL YOUR SPEED", and we'd rather do that instead, wouldn't we? This one still has the "Safety on the Move" logo at the end, so I would assume its use ended in 1995 or early 1996 (and was partially replaced by the "Kill Your Speed" hand sign.) However, the YouTube video is probably a short version: I seem to remember that the original was longer than that. Which is probably why she'll be killed by a driver who overslept AFTER she's been to school. Funny that.
And the review from the Think! site:
"Funeral Blues" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPnjeVHYQBM&mode=related&search) shows video footage of children who were later killed by speeding drivers in residential areas, with a soundtrack of John Hannah reading WH Auden's poem of the same name as featured in Four Weddings and a Funeral. As Applemask says, the PIF is genuinely harrowing, and horribly sad when you think that those children never grew up. I remember that the mother of one of the children featured in this PIF was interviewed on the BBC programme 999, but not what she said. Here's what the Think! website says about "Funeral Blues":
'Funeral Blues'
£2m TV and radio campaign - May 1996
£0.75m TV, radio and cinema
campaign - Sept 1996
Creative treatment
Three television commercials (one 90s, two 40s) featuring home video footage of young children who were later knocked down and killed in residential areas. Poetry readings about loss and grief (including the reading of W H Auden's poem from the film 'Four Weddings and a Funeral') reinforce the emotive nature of the video footage. In six radio commercials family members of the victims talk about the loss they have experienced and appeal directly to motorists to check their speed. Advertising carried the endline 'At times we all drive a bit too fast' 'Kill Your Speed'. The Kill your speed 'hand symbol' was designed and used for the first time on the television advertisements and publicity literature
Advertising objective
Show drivers that it could happen to them. The cynicism with which some drivers regard 'unreal' advertising must be suspended because it really did happen to these children and the drivers involved. Convince all drivers that going 'a little too fast' is unacceptable. Force them to recognise the seriousness of speeding in urban areas and their personal responsibility not to drive too fast. Encourage drivers to think about the long-term implications of road traffic accidents. Use of radio to reach drivers in their cars.
If I can find the other two PIFs from this campaign, I will. I didn't know that was the first use of the "Kill your speed" hand logo, but I agree with Applemask that it's a fabulous piece of animation. "Funeral Blues" was later followed by "Procedures", which also showed video footage of children killed by speeding drivers, but this time with a voiceover of a man solemnly reciting the official guidelines for when a police officer has to break the news to a victim's family after a gruesome road death. Another one for me to try and get hold of.
"Don't Look Now" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ex5nppYgjYk&mode=related&search) is a year older, from 1995. A little girl is merrily frolicking in the school playground but, she informs the viewer, YOU are going to kill her! Why? You'll kill her because you overslept, you'll kill her "for an appointment", and without even thinking about it. At the very end we see her as a driver sees her from their car - right before running her over. But she ends on the more positive note "You're going to kill me UNLESS YOU KILL YOUR SPEED", and we'd rather do that instead, wouldn't we? This one still has the "Safety on the Move" logo at the end, so I would assume its use ended in 1995 or early 1996 (and was partially replaced by the "Kill Your Speed" hand sign.) However, the YouTube video is probably a short version: I seem to remember that the original was longer than that. Which is probably why she'll be killed by a driver who overslept AFTER she's been to school. Funny that.
And the review from the Think! site:
'Don't Look Now'
£1.4m TV campaign, May 1995
£1.1m TV, radio and press, Sept 1995
£220,000 radio campaign, Feb 1996
The black and white television commercial portrays a young schoolgirl at home and on her way to school. A child's voice-over tells drivers 'You're going to kill me...' followed by trivial excuses people give for driving too fast... '...because you're late for a meeting/to keep up with the traffic'. In the last frame she is seen through a windscreen by a driver who cannot stop in time. National press advertisements and radio commercials featuring children's voices reinforce the excuses theme. Radio was used successfully for the first time to bring the message to drivers in their cars.
Wednesday 11 April 2007
Complaints about PIFs
I don't see why you'd want to make an official complaint about the content of a PIF today, because they're so sanitized and so rarely seen on TV, but if you did you'd go to Ofcom: http://www.ofcom.org.uk. Until 2003, television complaints were handled by the now - defunct ITC (Independent Television Commission) and now I've found an archive of complaints they received about various TV advertisements from 2003 right back to 1999 or thereabouts: http://www.ofcom.org.uk/static/archive/itc/itc_publications/complaints_reports/advertising_complaints/complaints_report.asp-type=complete.html. However, some of them are not adverts but PIFs, and I've had a look at the accompanying reports.
Archived on December 1st 2002, we've got this one: http://www.ofcom.org.uk/static/archive/itc/itc_publications/complaints_reports/advertising_complaints/show_complaint.asp-ad_complaint_id=747.html
I do remember that particular film, and I think I only ever saw it once. The report goes on to say that the scheduling of the PIF was a breach of ITC Code 7.3.6, and it was decided that from now on it could be shown only after 7.30pm. So all was well that ended well.
Then we have some misleading information in a PIF about saving energy: http://www.ofcom.org.uk/static/archive/itc/itc_publications/complaints_reports/advertising_complaints/show_complaint.asp-ad_complaint_id=525.html and also in one about computer training: http://www.ofcom.org.uk/static/archive/itc/itc_publications/complaints_reports/advertising_complaints/show_complaint.asp-ad_complaint_id=440.html. Both of those were handled as appropriate. We've also got reports of a couple of "honourary" PIFs (as Wikipedia calls them) by the NSPCC and RSPCA; I'll write about honourary PIFs in the future. 155 viewers complained about a nursing recruitment PIF on the grounds that it gave the wrong impression of what nurses really earn: http://www.ofcom.org.uk/static/archive/itc/itc_publications/complaints_reports/advertising_complaints/show_complaint.asp-ad_complaint_id=317.html. I'll bet it did!
There were further complaints about the "Alan and Kate" campaign, a mini soap - opera of sorts that broadcast over four days, following a man with a habit of speeding and a young woman in a new job up to the point where he runs her over. That's another one I want to post about, and until then, here's the report: http://www.ofcom.org.uk/static/archive/itc/itc_publications/complaints_reports/advertising_complaints/show_complaint.asp-ad_complaint_id=159.html. Complaints not upheld in that instance. A report on a PIF about the euro (http://www.ofcom.org.uk/static/archive/itc/itc_publications/complaints_reports/advertising_complaints/show_complaint.asp-ad_complaint_id=137.html) was more interesting, with some of the viewers arguing that it glamourized office bullying and the rest taking it as political propaganda in favour of Britain adopting the single currency. Meanwhile, "Julie" (you may remember her from here: http://takingthepif.blogspot.com/2007_03_01_archive.html) received 255 complaints about the amount of visible blood and the scheduling of the PIF.
I will do some proper research into this. I know that the infamous "Parents" PIF about fireworks was removed after complaints during the 1970s, and according to helpful commenter Discogod, the cut - down version was still being shown around 1985 - 1986. That's yet another one I hope Film Images will let me look at, and as soon as I do, you'll be able to read all about it.
Archived on December 1st 2002, we've got this one: http://www.ofcom.org.uk/static/archive/itc/itc_publications/complaints_reports/advertising_complaints/show_complaint.asp-ad_complaint_id=747.html
COI - Fire Safety Euro RSCG
Complaint from: 7 viewers
Background
A fire safety awareness campaign encouraged people to make an escape plan in the event of a fire in their home. It showed a number of individuals in different circumstances trapped in their homes during a fire. One scene showed two young children cowering in their smoke-filled bedroom crying for their dad. Another showed an elderly woman in a very distressed state banging on her door for help.
Issue
Complaints reported that children, aged between 3 and 6 years, had been deeply affected by the images. Three of the children suffered nightmares and sleeping problems. One of these was frightened her house would burn down and started bedwetting again after 2 years. Another was too scared to sleep alone at night and has had to sleep in the same bed as his parents. Others were too scared to be on their own including one 6 year old who refuses to go into any room alone including the toilet, despite his parents' reassurances.
I do remember that particular film, and I think I only ever saw it once. The report goes on to say that the scheduling of the PIF was a breach of ITC Code 7.3.6, and it was decided that from now on it could be shown only after 7.30pm. So all was well that ended well.
Then we have some misleading information in a PIF about saving energy: http://www.ofcom.org.uk/static/archive/itc/itc_publications/complaints_reports/advertising_complaints/show_complaint.asp-ad_complaint_id=525.html and also in one about computer training: http://www.ofcom.org.uk/static/archive/itc/itc_publications/complaints_reports/advertising_complaints/show_complaint.asp-ad_complaint_id=440.html. Both of those were handled as appropriate. We've also got reports of a couple of "honourary" PIFs (as Wikipedia calls them) by the NSPCC and RSPCA; I'll write about honourary PIFs in the future. 155 viewers complained about a nursing recruitment PIF on the grounds that it gave the wrong impression of what nurses really earn: http://www.ofcom.org.uk/static/archive/itc/itc_publications/complaints_reports/advertising_complaints/show_complaint.asp-ad_complaint_id=317.html. I'll bet it did!
There were further complaints about the "Alan and Kate" campaign, a mini soap - opera of sorts that broadcast over four days, following a man with a habit of speeding and a young woman in a new job up to the point where he runs her over. That's another one I want to post about, and until then, here's the report: http://www.ofcom.org.uk/static/archive/itc/itc_publications/complaints_reports/advertising_complaints/show_complaint.asp-ad_complaint_id=159.html. Complaints not upheld in that instance. A report on a PIF about the euro (http://www.ofcom.org.uk/static/archive/itc/itc_publications/complaints_reports/advertising_complaints/show_complaint.asp-ad_complaint_id=137.html) was more interesting, with some of the viewers arguing that it glamourized office bullying and the rest taking it as political propaganda in favour of Britain adopting the single currency. Meanwhile, "Julie" (you may remember her from here: http://takingthepif.blogspot.com/2007_03_01_archive.html) received 255 complaints about the amount of visible blood and the scheduling of the PIF.
I will do some proper research into this. I know that the infamous "Parents" PIF about fireworks was removed after complaints during the 1970s, and according to helpful commenter Discogod, the cut - down version was still being shown around 1985 - 1986. That's yet another one I hope Film Images will let me look at, and as soon as I do, you'll be able to read all about it.
Jo and Petunia: Flags
It seems I haven't got many readers at the moment, but if anyone out there is reading this, I'd like to thank you. It's a specialist subject, I suppose, ie. there aren't that many people interested in it. I know there are a few, so I've listed this in some blogging directories. I also know this site isn't very good, and I'm trying to improve it. I don't quite dare to put any pictures up because of copyright and all that, but if anyone is better informed about this than I am, I would appreciate some help.
Now, as you remember from my original post about Jo and Petunia (http://takingthepif.blogspot.com/2007/04/jo-and-petunia.html), "Country Code" and the original "Coastguard" can be viewed on the National Archives website with transcripts: http://www.nationalarchives.gov.uk/films/1964to1979/filmindex.htm. I'm reluctant to link to YouTube because people often take their videos down, but I've now found the final film, "Worn Tyres" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnHCqWiZXqk) online as well. Again, the 2006 version of "Coastguard" can be found here: http://tmf.ecwhost.com/extra/media/PIF-PIFS-JOANDPETUNIA-COASTGUARD-2006.rm. Meanwhile, here's a transcript of "Flags", the only one I haven't yet found on the Internet:
Now, as you remember from my original post about Jo and Petunia (http://takingthepif.blogspot.com/2007/04/jo-and-petunia.html), "Country Code" and the original "Coastguard" can be viewed on the National Archives website with transcripts: http://www.nationalarchives.gov.uk/films/1964to1979/filmindex.htm. I'm reluctant to link to YouTube because people often take their videos down, but I've now found the final film, "Worn Tyres" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnHCqWiZXqk) online as well. Again, the 2006 version of "Coastguard" can be found here: http://tmf.ecwhost.com/extra/media/PIF-PIFS-JOANDPETUNIA-COASTGUARD-2006.rm. Meanwhile, here's a transcript of "Flags", the only one I haven't yet found on the Internet:
(Jo and Petunia are at the beach. Jo is looking through binoculars while Petunia slurps an ice cream)
PETUNIA: Seen something interesting, Jo?
(We see he is looking at a topless mermaid out in the sea)
JO: Eh, no, not really, Petunia. (He bounces up and down)
PETUNIA: Well, you must have spotted something.
JO: (lowers his binoculars and then looks again) Er, well, it's what you might call a rare ... sea ... bird.
(The mermaid winks)
PETUNIA: (slurps ice cream) Oh, fancy! How nice!
(Jo puts down his binoculars and makes to take off his jacket)
JO: I think I might go for a little swim, Petunia.
PETUNIA: (shocked) Not here, Jo! (Close in on a large signpost next to her, which reads "DANGER, STRONG CURRENTS, DO NOT BATHE") A red notice means it's permanently unsafe and you must never, never bathe in here!
JO: Oh ...
(Change scene. Jo is still looking through his binoculars, but Petunia has changed her clothes and they've moved down the beach. Behind them, a red flag is flying, warning that it's dangerous to swim)
JO: That water looks very inviting, Petunia. (In the distance, the mermaid beckons)
PETUNIA: You can't bathe in here either. Not now. Can't you see the red flag? It means it's just not safe!
JO: (again putting down his binoculars and taking his jacket off) But I can swim like a fish!
PETUNIA: (waving her finger) That's no excuse, Jo. As long as the red flag's flying, you mustn't go in the water.
JO: Oh.
(Change scene. Petunia has another new outfit and another ice cream, and they're on a busy part of the beach, where a red and yellow flag is flying)
PETUNIA: Now you're in luck! (She points) Red and yellow flag. (A bronzed, muscular lifeguard dives into the water) That means the area between them is patrolled by lifeguards.
(The lifeguard swims away with the mermaid)
Now, in you go, Jo!
JO: (shocked) Funny, but I've - I've changed me mind, Petunia.
PETUNIA: Oh - men! (slurps)
Friday 6 April 2007
Identity Theft
This site is mainly going to be about classic PIFs, but the current campaign on identity theft caught my eye. It's from this year, 2007, and the films direct you to the ICO's website (http://www.ico.gov.uk) if you're worried about what kind of information others will be able to find out about you. Let's look at the two main PIFs in detail.
"Mistaken Identity" (http://www.ico.gov.uk/upload/images/flash_test/filler_ad_wrong_info.mpg) shows us a group of unlucky souls who have fallen foul of identity thieves, with disastrous consequences:
I don't get the last one. Wouldn't you NOTICE if the government thought you were dead? I'd be worried if I'd received no bills, bank statements or official letters for the last two weeks, let alone two years. On the other hand, mix ups like this really do happen, as evidenced by the recent story in UK news about a woman who was served with an ASBO for her unborn baby.
Meanwhile, "Man in the Mirror" (http://www.ico.gov.uk/upload/images/flash_test/mirror_man001.jpg) gives a new twist to the idea of having an evil twin:
So, beware. Don't throw out your bank statements, or cross shred them first or something. Actually, this reminds me of an amusing case featured on Crimewatch UK (http://www.bbc.co.uk/crimewatch) a while ago. Thieves had put a camera inside a cash machine to record people's PINs, and the police found it and had published some pictures from the camera that showed a group of people, most likely the thieves, posing with some waxworks at Madame Tussaud's. At the end of the appeal, the presenter said "You'll be glad to know that police have eliminated Elton John, Tom Cruise and the Queen from this inquiry." Ha ha!
The ICO's website says "Our public information films been produced by COI and will be distributed to over 100 terrestrial and digital TV channels. As public information films are not commercials, they are shown in donated airtime." In other words, the time when they can't sell any advertising space. Such is life.
"Mistaken Identity" (http://www.ico.gov.uk/upload/images/flash_test/filler_ad_wrong_info.mpg) shows us a group of unlucky souls who have fallen foul of identity thieves, with disastrous consequences:
(An old lady is sitting in an armchair doing her knitting. Then we hear disco music and see flashing lights, and the camera pulls back. She is now on stage in a club, with pole dancers either side)
CAPTION ON SCREEN: Dorothy Miller, Pole Dancer
(Change scene. A little girl of five or six is sitting outside a court, playing with a stuffed toy. Lawyers and officials file out past her)
CAPTION ON SCREEN: Emily Robinson, £20, 000 in debt
(Change scene. Bus stop in a crowded street. A woman gives up her seat to an overweight man, who smiles at her and sits down, looking uncomfortable)
CAPTION ON SCREEN: Andy Rogers, 6 months pregnant
(Change scene. A group of old men are in a pub. A change of camera angle shows that they are playing dominoes and focuses in on the face of a much younger man in his early 20s, who is sitting at the table with them)
CAPTION ON SCREEN: Simon Williams, Pensioner
(Change scene. A woman is running through a group of trees, but as the camera pulls back we see she is in a graveyard)
CAPTION ON SCREEN: Karen Taylor, died 2 years ago
VO: Is information held about you wrong? Put it right with this tool kit.
(Fade to black, with a superimposed picture of the ICO's "Personal Information Toolkit", and ICO logo, web address and phone number)
VO: Visit ico.gov.uk.
I don't get the last one. Wouldn't you NOTICE if the government thought you were dead? I'd be worried if I'd received no bills, bank statements or official letters for the last two weeks, let alone two years. On the other hand, mix ups like this really do happen, as evidenced by the recent story in UK news about a woman who was served with an ASBO for her unborn baby.
Meanwhile, "Man in the Mirror" (http://www.ico.gov.uk/upload/images/flash_test/mirror_man001.jpg) gives a new twist to the idea of having an evil twin:
(A respectable - looking, balding middle aged man is in a rather dull clothes shop. He takes a jacket from the rail, puts it on, and goes to the mirror. Instead of his own reflection, he sees a slightly younger chap; a swarthy, bearded type who you just know longs to play TV baddies as he waits at the actor's dole queue. He's trying on a much more expensive jacket, and appears to be in a flashier shop. The first man does a double take and tries out various poses in the mirror, running his fingers down the glass, and his new "reflection" does the same. He gasps and turns away, then looks in the mirror again. Sure enough, the flash geezer is still there! The first man tries running past the mirror and doing a couple of star jumps, and his "reflection" does the same, then says:)
2ND MAN: That jacket's really not my style.
1ST MAN: Who are you?
2ND MAN: Duh! I'm you, obviously! Nick Harris? 37 Ashdown Road? PIN Number 4732?
1ST MAN: I don't understand.
2ND MAN: What's to understand? Last Tuesday, you threw out your rubbish. I come along, went through it and found a statement from your bank. Our bank, really. Sort of a joint account. You earn it, I spend it! And then I got these. (He reaches into the jacket and pulls out a wallet, which contains a whole bunch of credit cards, about as many ways of paying for the good life as a pack of playing cards) Credit cards. This one (indicates) gives you double air miles. Do you really like that jacket?
(The first man pulls a face)
It will have to be cash, I'm afraid. I've gone over the limit on these. (He puts his wallet away) Still, pay day soon, eh?
(He winks. Close up on the horrified face of the first man, the real Nick Harris. Fade to black, again with superimposed picture of the ICO's "Personal Information Toolkit", and ICO logo, web address and phone number)
VO: Protect your personal information. Visit ico.gov.uk for this tool kit.
So, beware. Don't throw out your bank statements, or cross shred them first or something. Actually, this reminds me of an amusing case featured on Crimewatch UK (http://www.bbc.co.uk/crimewatch) a while ago. Thieves had put a camera inside a cash machine to record people's PINs, and the police found it and had published some pictures from the camera that showed a group of people, most likely the thieves, posing with some waxworks at Madame Tussaud's. At the end of the appeal, the presenter said "You'll be glad to know that police have eliminated Elton John, Tom Cruise and the Queen from this inquiry." Ha ha!
The ICO's website says "Our public information films been produced by COI and will be distributed to over 100 terrestrial and digital TV channels. As public information films are not commercials, they are shown in donated airtime." In other words, the time when they can't sell any advertising space. Such is life.
Wednesday 4 April 2007
Jo and Petunia
Another very old, very beloved series of PIFs.
Jo and Petunia, the stars of four animated PIFs in the late '60s and early '70s, were a chalk - and - cheese northern couple who slightly resembled a dimmer Hyacinth and Richard Bucket. Their appeal lay in being so inept they'd show you what not to do at the beach, in the countryside or when driving down a mountain road. They appeared in "Coastguard" (1968), "Flags" (1970), "Country Code" (1971) and "Worn Tyres" (1973), being killed off in the last film when Jo's failure to check their car's tyres results in a fatal road accident. Peter Hawkins, who provided the voices of Bill and Ben the Flowerpot Men and the original Daleks and Cybermen (among others) was the voice of Jo, while Petunia was voiced by Wendy Craig and later Brigit Forsyth for "Worn Tyres". The films were commissioned by the COI to Nicholas Cartoons, which was also behind the very successful children's show Willo the Wisp. "Coastguard" is probably the best known of the series, and was briefly revived in early 2006 for the COI's 60th anniversary. Digitally remastered and reworked, the new version cut some of the hilarious interaction between Jo and Petunia and turned Jo into a Burberry - clad chav, while Petunia now had an iPod and a copy of Hello magazine and the coastguard seemed to be too busy playing with his computer to worry about people in danger at sea. You can see all four of the films on the first Charley Says DVD. "Coastguard" and "Country Code" are available at the National Archives website: http://www.nationalarchives.gov.uk/films/1964to1979/filmindex.htm, and there are detailed transcripts here http://625.uk.com/pifs/jp_coastguard.htm and here http://625.uk.com/pifs/jp_countrycode.htm, or you can go to The Mocks Factory and see their 2006 comeback: http://tmf.ecwhost.com/extra/media/PIF-PIFS-JOANDPETUNIA-COASTGUARD-2006.rm
Jo and Petunia, the stars of four animated PIFs in the late '60s and early '70s, were a chalk - and - cheese northern couple who slightly resembled a dimmer Hyacinth and Richard Bucket. Their appeal lay in being so inept they'd show you what not to do at the beach, in the countryside or when driving down a mountain road. They appeared in "Coastguard" (1968), "Flags" (1970), "Country Code" (1971) and "Worn Tyres" (1973), being killed off in the last film when Jo's failure to check their car's tyres results in a fatal road accident. Peter Hawkins, who provided the voices of Bill and Ben the Flowerpot Men and the original Daleks and Cybermen (among others) was the voice of Jo, while Petunia was voiced by Wendy Craig and later Brigit Forsyth for "Worn Tyres". The films were commissioned by the COI to Nicholas Cartoons, which was also behind the very successful children's show Willo the Wisp. "Coastguard" is probably the best known of the series, and was briefly revived in early 2006 for the COI's 60th anniversary. Digitally remastered and reworked, the new version cut some of the hilarious interaction between Jo and Petunia and turned Jo into a Burberry - clad chav, while Petunia now had an iPod and a copy of Hello magazine and the coastguard seemed to be too busy playing with his computer to worry about people in danger at sea. You can see all four of the films on the first Charley Says DVD. "Coastguard" and "Country Code" are available at the National Archives website: http://www.nationalarchives.gov.uk/films/1964to1979/filmindex.htm, and there are detailed transcripts here http://625.uk.com/pifs/jp_coastguard.htm and here http://625.uk.com/pifs/jp_countrycode.htm, or you can go to The Mocks Factory and see their 2006 comeback: http://tmf.ecwhost.com/extra/media/PIF-PIFS-JOANDPETUNIA-COASTGUARD-2006.rm
Sunday 1 April 2007
Rabies Kills
Ah, rabies. There are some really fascinating PIFs on this subject out there and if I can get hold of them, they will appear in the future. But this one http://www.nationalarchives.gov.uk/films/1979to2006/filmpage_advice.htm is a classic and another of those that appears on the first Charley Says. It's from 1983 and advises you to get urgent help if you are "bitten or scratched or even licked" by an animal while abroad, because of the risk of rabies. And you should "wash the wound immediately". Bit difficult to do if you've only been licked, but it is true that "Rabies Kills". Actually, we haven't had any anti - rabies campaigns for at least ten years. Isn't it even more of a risk these days, what with all the recent cases of people being convicted of animal smuggling?
On the smuggling theme, here's a 2006 "filler" about bringing illegal food products back to the UK: http://www.tmf.ecwhost.com/extra/media/PIF-PIFS-DEFRA-TROUBLESOMEFOOD-2006.rm. I'm particularly impressed at the fighting spirit of those Chinese sausages.
On the smuggling theme, here's a 2006 "filler" about bringing illegal food products back to the UK: http://www.tmf.ecwhost.com/extra/media/PIF-PIFS-DEFRA-TROUBLESOMEFOOD-2006.rm. I'm particularly impressed at the fighting spirit of those Chinese sausages.
Electric Plug/Children and Ponds
I promise I will do Jo and Petunia as soon as I can. Until then, here's one of my very favourite PIFs ever. It used to be available on the now - defunct TV Ark, but you can catch it at http://www.meldrum.co.uk/cgi/play.asp?file=pifs/plug.ra and on the first Charley Says DVD.
Here we have a very 1970s type (check out those sideburns) who is too cheap to buy a plug for his electric drill. Instead, he's decided to wire himself into the mains using match sticks. He gets the shock of his life, literally, when the earth wire slips out and touches the live wire, and as if that wasn't warning enough an equally daft colleague touches him and is thrown across the room by the shock. As the endline tells us: "Electricity can kill. Don't take chances." Thankfully, the stupid are protected from this particular hazard by the fact that appliances now come with plug included, but it's still a good motto to remember. Film Images says it was narrated by Richard Briers, a champion of PIF voiceovers, and starred Nick Brimble as our less - than - bright hero. The DVD case dates the film itself to 1970.
Available from the same site (http://625.uk.com/pifs), and also from the '70s (1978 this time) is this one about "Children and Ponds": http://www.meldrum.co.uk/cgi/play.asp?file=pifs/ponds.ra. It features an adorable little girl of two or three years old frolicking in the garden with her mother. Cheerful music plays and all seems well - until mum's back is turned and the child falls in, using an obvious dummy as the "body" and, for some reason, a shot of her balloon drifting away. The PIF goes on to suggest that you put a fence around the pond and cover it with mesh, or drain it and turn it into a sandpit, because we all want toddlers treading sand about the house. The VO warns "Don't expect children as young as this to keep away from water just because you tell them." Strangely enough, my family once ran a pub with a beer garden that contained a pond, into which no kiddies ever fell; and when I went back there recently, the pond had been drained. Then again, back when this PIF was first shown you ran much less risk of people trying to sue the pants off you, so it was probably a good move.
Here we have a very 1970s type (check out those sideburns) who is too cheap to buy a plug for his electric drill. Instead, he's decided to wire himself into the mains using match sticks. He gets the shock of his life, literally, when the earth wire slips out and touches the live wire, and as if that wasn't warning enough an equally daft colleague touches him and is thrown across the room by the shock. As the endline tells us: "Electricity can kill. Don't take chances." Thankfully, the stupid are protected from this particular hazard by the fact that appliances now come with plug included, but it's still a good motto to remember. Film Images says it was narrated by Richard Briers, a champion of PIF voiceovers, and starred Nick Brimble as our less - than - bright hero. The DVD case dates the film itself to 1970.
Available from the same site (http://625.uk.com/pifs), and also from the '70s (1978 this time) is this one about "Children and Ponds": http://www.meldrum.co.uk/cgi/play.asp?file=pifs/ponds.ra. It features an adorable little girl of two or three years old frolicking in the garden with her mother. Cheerful music plays and all seems well - until mum's back is turned and the child falls in, using an obvious dummy as the "body" and, for some reason, a shot of her balloon drifting away. The PIF goes on to suggest that you put a fence around the pond and cover it with mesh, or drain it and turn it into a sandpit, because we all want toddlers treading sand about the house. The VO warns "Don't expect children as young as this to keep away from water just because you tell them." Strangely enough, my family once ran a pub with a beer garden that contained a pond, into which no kiddies ever fell; and when I went back there recently, the pond had been drained. Then again, back when this PIF was first shown you ran much less risk of people trying to sue the pants off you, so it was probably a good move.
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