The Finishing Line

This is the BIG DADDY of scary. I hadn't actually seen it before, but I'm 19 years old and it still frightens the life out of me.

I'll start by pointing out that "The Finishing Line" is not technically a PIF, because it was made by British Transport Films and not the COI. It's what Wikipedia calls an "honourary" PIF or what I call a "Not - PIF" or "Isn't - a - PIF - but - might - as - well - be - PIF." I probably won't cover too many of those on here, but this one is iconic and too good not to post about. Anyway, it's an educational film from 1977, nearly half an hour long, directed by John Krish (also famous for nostalgic 1953 piece The Elephant Will Never Forget, about the demise of Britain's trams) and warning children not to trespass on the railways. And it pulls NO punches. It was shown in some schools by invitation and received several full length showings on TV, but the studio audiences of children were so upset by the film that it became the subject of a debate on "Nationwide". According to British Transport Films, it won the Certificate of Appreciation (Top Category) and Oberhausen Mention at the Festival of Youth Paris, and was filmed at what is now Watton at Stone station on the WAGN Hertford North Loop.

"The Finishing Line" became so controversial that it was replaced in 1979 by the somewhat less graphic "Robbie". If anyone knows where I can get hold of that one (any version), please do let me know. If you're in a UK school, college, university (or other place of education) or a public library, you should be able to view the full - length "Finishing Line" at Screen Online: http://www.screenonline.org.uk/film/id/1077210/index.html. Otherwise, you'll have to go to the BFI website and console yourself with the opening scenes only: http://creative.bfi.org.uk/titles/7239.html.

"Good morning, boys and girls!" a voice booms as the credits roll and the film begins. "It has been brought to my notice that some of you have been playing on the railway again." It's good enough for Monty Python. "You are old enough to understand that the railway is not the place for any kind of games. I'LL SAY IT AGAIN! THE RAILWAY IS NOT THE GAME FIELD!" That's all news to the eight - or nine - year - old hero of the piece, who is sitting on a railway bridge looking out over the tracks. "Yeah, but if it was, I'd have special races and plenty of trains!" he thinks to himself. "There'd be my special scoring system and a big score board twenty feet high! I'd ask all the parents to come. Oh yeah, I nearly forgot! I'd have a band!" The rest of the film is his daydream of what it would be like, and it's NOT pretty. If you have a computer chair, hide behind it, and if you have glasses, take them off now.

Also be warned that this is a long synopsis, because it's a long film.

So, our young "narrator" is now imagining that his school sports day is taking place on the railway line. Move over London 2012, this is where the real action is! The band plays, the spectators file in, and the competitors wait in anticipation. Finally, the beginning of the "Nine and Under Fence Breaking Event" is announced, and the children, in four teams, take their places. The narrator tells us in voiceover what said event consists of: "Each of the four teams competing starts here. They have to run up to the fence, break a hole big enough to get all the team through, then you must run down the embankment, across the rails and up the other side past the finishing line." Straightforward enough, right? The starting gun is fired, and they're off! After a few futile attempts to make holes in the wire, the little cheats all climb over or under the fence and the game is on. Amid cheers from the spectators, the kids make it across the tracks, all except for one little girl who falls over and seems to have knocked herself out. Her teammates rush back to help her, but scarper as a train approaches. We don't see the actual impact, just a close up of the "FINISH" banner at the other side. The scores are announced: red team is in first place, yellow second, green third and the blues have been disqualified because they haven't got a full team any more. The mutilated remains of the girl are carried away on a stretcher as the other competitors look on in shock. And the horrors haven't even begun yet.

But there's no time to mourn for their fallen comrade, or even think themselves lucky the track wasn't electrified. Now they've got to get ready for the "Twelve and Under Stone Throwing", where "You've got four teams - green, blue, yellow and red. Each team has four chances to hit that moving train at a distance of ten feet. Scoring is simple: two points for a smashed window, four for a direct hit." A teacher briefs the kids and warns them not to screw up like the nine and under blue team, then it begins. A train approaches and the competitors throw great big rocks through the window. The train stops and the judges climb on board to add up the scores - oh, look, the children have BLINDED THE DRIVER. Never mind, eh?

The next event is something called "Last Across". The kids are feeling lucky and it's just as well they are, because this one's a bit trickier. "Two teams line up on one side of the track and the other two teams are on the other side facing them. When the train passes the GO sign, they have to run across the line. With the train moving at about fifty miles an hour, I reckon they've got about three seconds." Oooooooooooooh, there'll be tears before bedtime! There's a nasty little twist too, as our narrator enthusiastically tells us: "But one cheat today is that only the judges know what speed the train will be travelling at. It could be doing eighty, in which case they have a lot less than three seconds!" I bet all those scary Japanese film directors who make their fortune from ultra - violent guro porn wish they could come up with stuff like this! Naturally, some of the kids seem reluctant to take part, and start bickering about who's brave enough or not. The train's coming and they scramble across, but not everyone makes it. Some of them fall over and others seem to just give up and drop. Sure enough, within seconds they've been turned into mincemeat.

Doesn't look like our "athletes" are in any fit state to do the last event, but at least "The Great Tunnel Walk" sounds nice and gentle. And out of nowhere they've dredged up a hundred or so more kids to take part. "Now, this Great Tunnel Walk! The tunnel itself is three miles long! And dark, and wet, and smelly and horrible!" Gee, I wonder if the rail company will let us hire it for Grandad's 80th? "And once inside, there'll be no turning back! You've got to keep going, and whoever manages to make their way out the other end will be the winner!" Piece of piss, or so you'd think. Literally more than a hundred children line up across the tracks, then the starting gun is fired. It's an endurance test, not a race, and they seem to be making good progress. OH, WAIT, THERE'S A BLOODY GREAT TRAIN COMING AT THE OTHER END. The band plays, the heavily injured "winners" give their names to the judges and are dragged off for medical attention before being officially declared the victors. The dead, that's everybody else, are brought out from the tunnel and arranged in a long line across the track. The camera slowly zooms out from the carnage before returning to real life, with the narrator still on the railway bridge. The stern voice from the very beginning warns "So if any of you think that playing on the railway is a good idea, perhaps he or she would care to stand up." There. Wasn't that lovely, boys and girls? Perhaps your school might like to give it a go next year?

The film was written by John Krish and Michael Gilmour, and produced by James Ritchie. The child "stars" are credited as "the juniors and seniors of Roebuck Junior School, Watton - at - Stone Primary School and the Simon Balle School, Hertfordshire". Graphic and shocking it might have been, but "The Finishing Line" got the message across. That's more than can be said for a lot of the PIFs being broadcast on our screens today. I have written up a full transcript of "The Finishing Line" but won't post it here, so if anyone would like me to upload it elsewhere, comment and let me know.

And even if it's not quite up to the same standards, this gentleman managed to successfully make the same point in less than a minute of film: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3o2ymRD2aGM