Jo and Petunia: Flags

It seems I haven't got many readers at the moment, but if anyone out there is reading this, I'd like to thank you. It's a specialist subject, I suppose, ie. there aren't that many people interested in it. I know there are a few, so I've listed this in some blogging directories. I also know this site isn't very good, and I'm trying to improve it. I don't quite dare to put any pictures up because of copyright and all that, but if anyone is better informed about this than I am, I would appreciate some help.

Now, as you remember from my original post about Jo and Petunia (http://takingthepif.blogspot.com/2007/04/jo-and-petunia.html), "Country Code" and the original "Coastguard" can be viewed on the National Archives website with transcripts: http://www.nationalarchives.gov.uk/films/1964to1979/filmindex.htm. I'm reluctant to link to YouTube because people often take their videos down, but I've now found the final film, "Worn Tyres" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnHCqWiZXqk) online as well. Again, the 2006 version of "Coastguard" can be found here: http://tmf.ecwhost.com/extra/media/PIF-PIFS-JOANDPETUNIA-COASTGUARD-2006.rm. Meanwhile, here's a transcript of "Flags", the only one I haven't yet found on the Internet:

(Jo and Petunia are at the beach. Jo is looking through binoculars while Petunia slurps an ice cream)

PETUNIA: Seen something interesting, Jo?

(We see he is looking at a topless mermaid out in the sea)

JO: Eh, no, not really, Petunia. (He bounces up and down)
PETUNIA: Well, you must have spotted something.
JO: (lowers his binoculars and then looks again) Er, well, it's what you might call a rare ... sea ... bird.

(The mermaid winks)

PETUNIA: (slurps ice cream) Oh, fancy! How nice!

(Jo puts down his binoculars and makes to take off his jacket)

JO: I think I might go for a little swim, Petunia.
PETUNIA: (shocked) Not here, Jo! (Close in on a large signpost next to her, which reads "DANGER, STRONG CURRENTS, DO NOT BATHE") A red notice means it's permanently unsafe and you must never, never bathe in here!
JO: Oh ...

(Change scene. Jo is still looking through his binoculars, but Petunia has changed her clothes and they've moved down the beach. Behind them, a red flag is flying, warning that it's dangerous to swim)

JO: That water looks very inviting, Petunia. (In the distance, the mermaid beckons)
PETUNIA: You can't bathe in here either. Not now. Can't you see the red flag? It means it's just not safe!
JO: (again putting down his binoculars and taking his jacket off) But I can swim like a fish!
PETUNIA: (waving her finger) That's no excuse, Jo. As long as the red flag's flying, you mustn't go in the water.
JO: Oh.

(Change scene. Petunia has another new outfit and another ice cream, and they're on a busy part of the beach, where a red and yellow flag is flying)

PETUNIA: Now you're in luck! (She points) Red and yellow flag. (A bronzed, muscular lifeguard dives into the water) That means the area between them is patrolled by lifeguards.

(The lifeguard swims away with the mermaid)

Now, in you go, Jo!

JO: (shocked) Funny, but I've - I've changed me mind, Petunia.
PETUNIA: Oh - men! (slurps)

Jo and Petunia

Another very old, very beloved series of PIFs.

Jo and Petunia, the stars of four animated PIFs in the late '60s and early '70s, were a chalk - and - cheese northern couple who slightly resembled a dimmer Hyacinth and Richard Bucket. Their appeal lay in being so inept they'd show you what not to do at the beach, in the countryside or when driving down a mountain road. They appeared in "Coastguard" (1968), "Flags" (1970), "Country Code" (1971) and "Worn Tyres" (1973), being killed off in the last film when Jo's failure to check their car's tyres results in a fatal road accident. Peter Hawkins, who provided the voices of Bill and Ben the Flowerpot Men and the original Daleks and Cybermen (among others) was the voice of Jo, while Petunia was voiced by Wendy Craig and later Brigit Forsyth for "Worn Tyres". The films were commissioned by the COI to Nicholas Cartoons, which was also behind the very successful children's show Willo the Wisp. "Coastguard" is probably the best known of the series, and was briefly revived in early 2006 for the COI's 60th anniversary. Digitally remastered and reworked, the new version cut some of the hilarious interaction between Jo and Petunia and turned Jo into a Burberry - clad chav, while Petunia now had an iPod and a copy of Hello magazine and the coastguard seemed to be too busy playing with his computer to worry about people in danger at sea. You can see all four of the films on the first Charley Says DVD. "Coastguard" and "Country Code" are available at the National Archives website: http://www.nationalarchives.gov.uk/films/1964to1979/filmindex.htm, and there are detailed transcripts here http://625.uk.com/pifs/jp_coastguard.htm and here http://625.uk.com/pifs/jp_countrycode.htm, or you can go to The Mocks Factory and see their 2006 comeback: http://tmf.ecwhost.com/extra/media/PIF-PIFS-JOANDPETUNIA-COASTGUARD-2006.rm