I'm still here (sadly?), I've just been very busy with final exams at uni. Also my personal tutor hasn't been around for a while, but as it is the end of term he should be around for the exam period and I can get a letter off him to confirm that I'm a full time student, and go to Film Images.
Coming up: Round up of the latest "filler" PIFs, Bedtime Routine and more.
Sunday 20 May 2007
Friday 27 April 2007
My shortest update yet
Yesterday my mother was pulled over by the police after I rang her mobile phone, not realizing she was driving. So, I felt honour bound to link to the latest Think! PIF on this subject: http://www.thinkroadsafety.gov.uk/campaigns/mobilephones/download/2007splitscreen.mpg to celebrate her shiny new penalty points. Short and sweet.
Protect and Survive
Or, "Oh Shit We're All Dead". Quite possibly the scariest public information films ever made, not least because the advice in them would have been nigh on useless if the worst really had come to the worst.
These PIFs were made in the 1980s and advised the public on what to do in the run up to, and aftermath of, a nuclear attack on the UK. How to build a fallout shelter, protect yourself from radiation, lay out a body, what to do if you are caught outside during the attack, and more. As it happened, they were never actually broadcast to the masses, but they would have been shown continually on all television channels if a national State of Emergency was declared and the government believed the bomb was about to be dropped. Seven earlier PIFs called "Advice to Householders", with a similar message, were produced during the 1960s but also never broadcast. Either way, the "Protect and Survive" films were truly chilling, and they're right up there with Threads and the Only Fools and Horses episode where Del and Rodney build a nuclear bunker as a terrifying portrait of the '80s nuclear threat.
The PIFs used a very distinctive style of simple animation and still motion photography, with sound and visual effects to represent warning signals (wavy red lines on the screen) and fallout dust (white snow). A family home was always represented by a cardboard cut - through of a doll's house. Each film would begin with an animated scene of a nuclear mushroom cloud and the Protect and Survive logo of a cartoon family standing inside a circle, along with a summary of the points made in the rest of the series. There were 20 "Protect and Survive" PIFs made in total, all of them with voiceover by the late Patrick Allen and a very distinctive, creepy theme tune at the end. In order, they were:
1. Nuclear Explosions Explained
2. The Warnings
3. What to Do When the Warning Sounds
4. Stay At Home
5. Choosing a Fallout Room
6. Refuges
7. Materials to Use for Your Fallout Room and Refuge
8. Make Your Fallout Room and Refuge
9. What to Put in Your Fallout Room
10. Action After Warnings
11. Water and Food
12. Sanitation - Preparatory Steps
13. Fire Precautions
14. The Importance of Your Radio
15. Life Under Fallout Conditions
16. What to Do After an Attack
17. Sanitation Care
18. Water Consumption
19. Food Consumption
20. Casualties
They were produced by Richard Taylor Cartoons, also responsible for Charley Says (http://takingthepif.blogspot.com/2007/03/charley-says.html).
You can find more information about Protect and Survive, along with reproductions of the leaflets that accompanied the campaign, here: http://www.cybertrn.demon.co.uk/atomic/index.htm. "Action After Warnings" and "Casualties" are available to view on the first Charley Says DVD, and you can also buy a DVD of all the films online: go to Amazon or Play.com and have a look. If you'd rather watch them online, YouTube user pandemian has a large collection of clips and entire films of the series: http://www.youtube.com/profile_videos?user=Pandemian
Scary!!! And as someone pointed out in a comment to the video, it wouldn't have done much good anyway. The government's all safely holed up underground and we're told we can leave our fallout shelter after fourteen days, whereas in reality five hundred years is more like it. Although with the world situation as it currently is, I really don't want to think about that.
Coming up soon, possibly next week after I've been to FI: More reviews of some real classics, including Tufty and the Green Cross Code Man.
These PIFs were made in the 1980s and advised the public on what to do in the run up to, and aftermath of, a nuclear attack on the UK. How to build a fallout shelter, protect yourself from radiation, lay out a body, what to do if you are caught outside during the attack, and more. As it happened, they were never actually broadcast to the masses, but they would have been shown continually on all television channels if a national State of Emergency was declared and the government believed the bomb was about to be dropped. Seven earlier PIFs called "Advice to Householders", with a similar message, were produced during the 1960s but also never broadcast. Either way, the "Protect and Survive" films were truly chilling, and they're right up there with Threads and the Only Fools and Horses episode where Del and Rodney build a nuclear bunker as a terrifying portrait of the '80s nuclear threat.
The PIFs used a very distinctive style of simple animation and still motion photography, with sound and visual effects to represent warning signals (wavy red lines on the screen) and fallout dust (white snow). A family home was always represented by a cardboard cut - through of a doll's house. Each film would begin with an animated scene of a nuclear mushroom cloud and the Protect and Survive logo of a cartoon family standing inside a circle, along with a summary of the points made in the rest of the series. There were 20 "Protect and Survive" PIFs made in total, all of them with voiceover by the late Patrick Allen and a very distinctive, creepy theme tune at the end. In order, they were:
1. Nuclear Explosions Explained
2. The Warnings
3. What to Do When the Warning Sounds
4. Stay At Home
5. Choosing a Fallout Room
6. Refuges
7. Materials to Use for Your Fallout Room and Refuge
8. Make Your Fallout Room and Refuge
9. What to Put in Your Fallout Room
10. Action After Warnings
11. Water and Food
12. Sanitation - Preparatory Steps
13. Fire Precautions
14. The Importance of Your Radio
15. Life Under Fallout Conditions
16. What to Do After an Attack
17. Sanitation Care
18. Water Consumption
19. Food Consumption
20. Casualties
They were produced by Richard Taylor Cartoons, also responsible for Charley Says (http://takingthepif.blogspot.com/2007/03/charley-says.html).
You can find more information about Protect and Survive, along with reproductions of the leaflets that accompanied the campaign, here: http://www.cybertrn.demon.co.uk/atomic/index.htm. "Action After Warnings" and "Casualties" are available to view on the first Charley Says DVD, and you can also buy a DVD of all the films online: go to Amazon or Play.com and have a look. If you'd rather watch them online, YouTube user pandemian has a large collection of clips and entire films of the series: http://www.youtube.com/profile_videos?user=Pandemian
Scary!!! And as someone pointed out in a comment to the video, it wouldn't have done much good anyway. The government's all safely holed up underground and we're told we can leave our fallout shelter after fourteen days, whereas in reality five hundred years is more like it. Although with the world situation as it currently is, I really don't want to think about that.
Coming up soon, possibly next week after I've been to FI: More reviews of some real classics, including Tufty and the Green Cross Code Man.
Thursday 26 April 2007
Geronimo
According to the email from Film Images, I'm "welcome to spend the day with them", which is, by my calculation, seven hours!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyone for "Apaches" and "Fireworks Safety - Parents"? Got to get my absent - minded personal tutor to actually sign the letter for me first, then I can make an appointment, preferably for next week (I hope.)
Meanwhile, Applemask has come up trumps again with this gem of a PIF from 1989: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2G9yyD4qrGg. I first saw it at one of the BFI's screenings in September/October to commemorate the 60th anniversary of the COI, though I can't remember which one. This Health Education Authority campaign introduced us to octogenarian Fred Brewster, who assures the viewers that kids today don't know they're born - because back in his day, condoms were reusable. And he called his willy wallpaper "Geronimo". Riiiiiiiiiight! Then he goes on to tell us that he had to wash, dry and powder it with chalk after each shag, and that wearing it was "like having a bath with your socks on." Er, thanks, Mr B. That was a bit more than we wanted to know. I'll never find out whether my own grandad (who will be 79 this year) had a "Geronimo", because I would rather cover myself in honey and leap naked into the bear pit at Whipsnade Zoo than ask about it. But, in the words of Applemask, this IS a groovy PIF - "if you can get past the fact that it's an old man talking about his condom." I've got both "Don't Die of Ignorance" AIDS films, with voiceover by John Hurt, on my wish list for next week.
And just in case you weren't aware of the many adverse consequences of failing to wear a condom, this PIF from Belgium will leave you in no doubt about one of them: http://www.boardsmag.com/screeningroom/animation/1146/
Meanwhile, Applemask has come up trumps again with this gem of a PIF from 1989: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2G9yyD4qrGg. I first saw it at one of the BFI's screenings in September/October to commemorate the 60th anniversary of the COI, though I can't remember which one. This Health Education Authority campaign introduced us to octogenarian Fred Brewster, who assures the viewers that kids today don't know they're born - because back in his day, condoms were reusable. And he called his willy wallpaper "Geronimo". Riiiiiiiiiight! Then he goes on to tell us that he had to wash, dry and powder it with chalk after each shag, and that wearing it was "like having a bath with your socks on." Er, thanks, Mr B. That was a bit more than we wanted to know. I'll never find out whether my own grandad (who will be 79 this year) had a "Geronimo", because I would rather cover myself in honey and leap naked into the bear pit at Whipsnade Zoo than ask about it. But, in the words of Applemask, this IS a groovy PIF - "if you can get past the fact that it's an old man talking about his condom." I've got both "Don't Die of Ignorance" AIDS films, with voiceover by John Hurt, on my wish list for next week.
And just in case you weren't aware of the many adverse consequences of failing to wear a condom, this PIF from Belgium will leave you in no doubt about one of them: http://www.boardsmag.com/screeningroom/animation/1146/
Wednesday 25 April 2007
The Finishing Line
This is the BIG DADDY of scary. I hadn't actually seen it before, but I'm 19 years old and it still frightens the life out of me.
I'll start by pointing out that "The Finishing Line" is not technically a PIF, because it was made by British Transport Films and not the COI. It's what Wikipedia calls an "honourary" PIF or what I call a "Not - PIF" or "Isn't - a - PIF - but - might - as - well - be - PIF." I probably won't cover too many of those on here, but this one is iconic and too good not to post about. Anyway, it's an educational film from 1977, nearly half an hour long, directed by John Krish (also famous for nostalgic 1953 piece The Elephant Will Never Forget, about the demise of Britain's trams) and warning children not to trespass on the railways. And it pulls NO punches. It was shown in some schools by invitation and received several full length showings on TV, but the studio audiences of children were so upset by the film that it became the subject of a debate on "Nationwide". According to British Transport Films, it won the Certificate of Appreciation (Top Category) and Oberhausen Mention at the Festival of Youth Paris, and was filmed at what is now Watton at Stone station on the WAGN Hertford North Loop.
"The Finishing Line" became so controversial that it was replaced in 1979 by the somewhat less graphic "Robbie". If anyone knows where I can get hold of that one (any version), please do let me know. If you're in a UK school, college, university (or other place of education) or a public library, you should be able to view the full - length "Finishing Line" at Screen Online: http://www.screenonline.org.uk/film/id/1077210/index.html. Otherwise, you'll have to go to the BFI website and console yourself with the opening scenes only: http://creative.bfi.org.uk/titles/7239.html.
"Good morning, boys and girls!" a voice booms as the credits roll and the film begins. "It has been brought to my notice that some of you have been playing on the railway again." It's good enough for Monty Python. "You are old enough to understand that the railway is not the place for any kind of games. I'LL SAY IT AGAIN! THE RAILWAY IS NOT THE GAME FIELD!" That's all news to the eight - or nine - year - old hero of the piece, who is sitting on a railway bridge looking out over the tracks. "Yeah, but if it was, I'd have special races and plenty of trains!" he thinks to himself. "There'd be my special scoring system and a big score board twenty feet high! I'd ask all the parents to come. Oh yeah, I nearly forgot! I'd have a band!" The rest of the film is his daydream of what it would be like, and it's NOT pretty. If you have a computer chair, hide behind it, and if you have glasses, take them off now.
Also be warned that this is a long synopsis, because it's a long film.
So, our young "narrator" is now imagining that his school sports day is taking place on the railway line. Move over London 2012, this is where the real action is! The band plays, the spectators file in, and the competitors wait in anticipation. Finally, the beginning of the "Nine and Under Fence Breaking Event" is announced, and the children, in four teams, take their places. The narrator tells us in voiceover what said event consists of: "Each of the four teams competing starts here. They have to run up to the fence, break a hole big enough to get all the team through, then you must run down the embankment, across the rails and up the other side past the finishing line." Straightforward enough, right? The starting gun is fired, and they're off! After a few futile attempts to make holes in the wire, the little cheats all climb over or under the fence and the game is on. Amid cheers from the spectators, the kids make it across the tracks, all except for one little girl who falls over and seems to have knocked herself out. Her teammates rush back to help her, but scarper as a train approaches. We don't see the actual impact, just a close up of the "FINISH" banner at the other side. The scores are announced: red team is in first place, yellow second, green third and the blues have been disqualified because they haven't got a full team any more. The mutilated remains of the girl are carried away on a stretcher as the other competitors look on in shock. And the horrors haven't even begun yet.
But there's no time to mourn for their fallen comrade, or even think themselves lucky the track wasn't electrified. Now they've got to get ready for the "Twelve and Under Stone Throwing", where "You've got four teams - green, blue, yellow and red. Each team has four chances to hit that moving train at a distance of ten feet. Scoring is simple: two points for a smashed window, four for a direct hit." A teacher briefs the kids and warns them not to screw up like the nine and under blue team, then it begins. A train approaches and the competitors throw great big rocks through the window. The train stops and the judges climb on board to add up the scores - oh, look, the children have BLINDED THE DRIVER. Never mind, eh?
The next event is something called "Last Across". The kids are feeling lucky and it's just as well they are, because this one's a bit trickier. "Two teams line up on one side of the track and the other two teams are on the other side facing them. When the train passes the GO sign, they have to run across the line. With the train moving at about fifty miles an hour, I reckon they've got about three seconds." Oooooooooooooh, there'll be tears before bedtime! There's a nasty little twist too, as our narrator enthusiastically tells us: "But one cheat today is that only the judges know what speed the train will be travelling at. It could be doing eighty, in which case they have a lot less than three seconds!" I bet all those scary Japanese film directors who make their fortune from ultra - violent guro porn wish they could come up with stuff like this! Naturally, some of the kids seem reluctant to take part, and start bickering about who's brave enough or not. The train's coming and they scramble across, but not everyone makes it. Some of them fall over and others seem to just give up and drop. Sure enough, within seconds they've been turned into mincemeat.
Doesn't look like our "athletes" are in any fit state to do the last event, but at least "The Great Tunnel Walk" sounds nice and gentle. And out of nowhere they've dredged up a hundred or so more kids to take part. "Now, this Great Tunnel Walk! The tunnel itself is three miles long! And dark, and wet, and smelly and horrible!" Gee, I wonder if the rail company will let us hire it for Grandad's 80th? "And once inside, there'll be no turning back! You've got to keep going, and whoever manages to make their way out the other end will be the winner!" Piece of piss, or so you'd think. Literally more than a hundred children line up across the tracks, then the starting gun is fired. It's an endurance test, not a race, and they seem to be making good progress. OH, WAIT, THERE'S A BLOODY GREAT TRAIN COMING AT THE OTHER END. The band plays, the heavily injured "winners" give their names to the judges and are dragged off for medical attention before being officially declared the victors. The dead, that's everybody else, are brought out from the tunnel and arranged in a long line across the track. The camera slowly zooms out from the carnage before returning to real life, with the narrator still on the railway bridge. The stern voice from the very beginning warns "So if any of you think that playing on the railway is a good idea, perhaps he or she would care to stand up." There. Wasn't that lovely, boys and girls? Perhaps your school might like to give it a go next year?
The film was written by John Krish and Michael Gilmour, and produced by James Ritchie. The child "stars" are credited as "the juniors and seniors of Roebuck Junior School, Watton - at - Stone Primary School and the Simon Balle School, Hertfordshire". Graphic and shocking it might have been, but "The Finishing Line" got the message across. That's more than can be said for a lot of the PIFs being broadcast on our screens today. I have written up a full transcript of "The Finishing Line" but won't post it here, so if anyone would like me to upload it elsewhere, comment and let me know.
And even if it's not quite up to the same standards, this gentleman managed to successfully make the same point in less than a minute of film: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3o2ymRD2aGM
I'll start by pointing out that "The Finishing Line" is not technically a PIF, because it was made by British Transport Films and not the COI. It's what Wikipedia calls an "honourary" PIF or what I call a "Not - PIF" or "Isn't - a - PIF - but - might - as - well - be - PIF." I probably won't cover too many of those on here, but this one is iconic and too good not to post about. Anyway, it's an educational film from 1977, nearly half an hour long, directed by John Krish (also famous for nostalgic 1953 piece The Elephant Will Never Forget, about the demise of Britain's trams) and warning children not to trespass on the railways. And it pulls NO punches. It was shown in some schools by invitation and received several full length showings on TV, but the studio audiences of children were so upset by the film that it became the subject of a debate on "Nationwide". According to British Transport Films, it won the Certificate of Appreciation (Top Category) and Oberhausen Mention at the Festival of Youth Paris, and was filmed at what is now Watton at Stone station on the WAGN Hertford North Loop.
"The Finishing Line" became so controversial that it was replaced in 1979 by the somewhat less graphic "Robbie". If anyone knows where I can get hold of that one (any version), please do let me know. If you're in a UK school, college, university (or other place of education) or a public library, you should be able to view the full - length "Finishing Line" at Screen Online: http://www.screenonline.org.uk/film/id/1077210/index.html. Otherwise, you'll have to go to the BFI website and console yourself with the opening scenes only: http://creative.bfi.org.uk/titles/7239.html.
"Good morning, boys and girls!" a voice booms as the credits roll and the film begins. "It has been brought to my notice that some of you have been playing on the railway again." It's good enough for Monty Python. "You are old enough to understand that the railway is not the place for any kind of games. I'LL SAY IT AGAIN! THE RAILWAY IS NOT THE GAME FIELD!" That's all news to the eight - or nine - year - old hero of the piece, who is sitting on a railway bridge looking out over the tracks. "Yeah, but if it was, I'd have special races and plenty of trains!" he thinks to himself. "There'd be my special scoring system and a big score board twenty feet high! I'd ask all the parents to come. Oh yeah, I nearly forgot! I'd have a band!" The rest of the film is his daydream of what it would be like, and it's NOT pretty. If you have a computer chair, hide behind it, and if you have glasses, take them off now.
Also be warned that this is a long synopsis, because it's a long film.
So, our young "narrator" is now imagining that his school sports day is taking place on the railway line. Move over London 2012, this is where the real action is! The band plays, the spectators file in, and the competitors wait in anticipation. Finally, the beginning of the "Nine and Under Fence Breaking Event" is announced, and the children, in four teams, take their places. The narrator tells us in voiceover what said event consists of: "Each of the four teams competing starts here. They have to run up to the fence, break a hole big enough to get all the team through, then you must run down the embankment, across the rails and up the other side past the finishing line." Straightforward enough, right? The starting gun is fired, and they're off! After a few futile attempts to make holes in the wire, the little cheats all climb over or under the fence and the game is on. Amid cheers from the spectators, the kids make it across the tracks, all except for one little girl who falls over and seems to have knocked herself out. Her teammates rush back to help her, but scarper as a train approaches. We don't see the actual impact, just a close up of the "FINISH" banner at the other side. The scores are announced: red team is in first place, yellow second, green third and the blues have been disqualified because they haven't got a full team any more. The mutilated remains of the girl are carried away on a stretcher as the other competitors look on in shock. And the horrors haven't even begun yet.
But there's no time to mourn for their fallen comrade, or even think themselves lucky the track wasn't electrified. Now they've got to get ready for the "Twelve and Under Stone Throwing", where "You've got four teams - green, blue, yellow and red. Each team has four chances to hit that moving train at a distance of ten feet. Scoring is simple: two points for a smashed window, four for a direct hit." A teacher briefs the kids and warns them not to screw up like the nine and under blue team, then it begins. A train approaches and the competitors throw great big rocks through the window. The train stops and the judges climb on board to add up the scores - oh, look, the children have BLINDED THE DRIVER. Never mind, eh?
The next event is something called "Last Across". The kids are feeling lucky and it's just as well they are, because this one's a bit trickier. "Two teams line up on one side of the track and the other two teams are on the other side facing them. When the train passes the GO sign, they have to run across the line. With the train moving at about fifty miles an hour, I reckon they've got about three seconds." Oooooooooooooh, there'll be tears before bedtime! There's a nasty little twist too, as our narrator enthusiastically tells us: "But one cheat today is that only the judges know what speed the train will be travelling at. It could be doing eighty, in which case they have a lot less than three seconds!" I bet all those scary Japanese film directors who make their fortune from ultra - violent guro porn wish they could come up with stuff like this! Naturally, some of the kids seem reluctant to take part, and start bickering about who's brave enough or not. The train's coming and they scramble across, but not everyone makes it. Some of them fall over and others seem to just give up and drop. Sure enough, within seconds they've been turned into mincemeat.
Doesn't look like our "athletes" are in any fit state to do the last event, but at least "The Great Tunnel Walk" sounds nice and gentle. And out of nowhere they've dredged up a hundred or so more kids to take part. "Now, this Great Tunnel Walk! The tunnel itself is three miles long! And dark, and wet, and smelly and horrible!" Gee, I wonder if the rail company will let us hire it for Grandad's 80th? "And once inside, there'll be no turning back! You've got to keep going, and whoever manages to make their way out the other end will be the winner!" Piece of piss, or so you'd think. Literally more than a hundred children line up across the tracks, then the starting gun is fired. It's an endurance test, not a race, and they seem to be making good progress. OH, WAIT, THERE'S A BLOODY GREAT TRAIN COMING AT THE OTHER END. The band plays, the heavily injured "winners" give their names to the judges and are dragged off for medical attention before being officially declared the victors. The dead, that's everybody else, are brought out from the tunnel and arranged in a long line across the track. The camera slowly zooms out from the carnage before returning to real life, with the narrator still on the railway bridge. The stern voice from the very beginning warns "So if any of you think that playing on the railway is a good idea, perhaps he or she would care to stand up." There. Wasn't that lovely, boys and girls? Perhaps your school might like to give it a go next year?
The film was written by John Krish and Michael Gilmour, and produced by James Ritchie. The child "stars" are credited as "the juniors and seniors of Roebuck Junior School, Watton - at - Stone Primary School and the Simon Balle School, Hertfordshire". Graphic and shocking it might have been, but "The Finishing Line" got the message across. That's more than can be said for a lot of the PIFs being broadcast on our screens today. I have written up a full transcript of "The Finishing Line" but won't post it here, so if anyone would like me to upload it elsewhere, comment and let me know.
And even if it's not quite up to the same standards, this gentleman managed to successfully make the same point in less than a minute of film: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3o2ymRD2aGM
Tuesday 24 April 2007
Pub/Holiday of a Lifetime
I'm still going to do "The Finishing Line" tomorrow. I'm having a little trouble viewing it because it's a big file, but I WILL have it up on the site.
One of the PIFs I want to obtain from Film Images is the World Cup 2000 drug smuggling one featuring Gary Lineker and David Ginola, but until I get it, here's one on the same theme: http://tmf.ecwhost.com/extra/media/PIF-PIFS-DRUGSABROAD-PUB-1970s.rm. TMF says it's from 1970.
I can't find the Film Images entry for this film so I don't have any more background information, but with friends like this, who needs enemies? The mesage I get from this is "Don't smuggle drugs. Not only are you liable to be locked up for years but your so - called mates will be stabbing you in the back as well and your bird will go off with someone else."
Then there's "Holiday of a Lifetime" which was, according to Film Images, first broadcast in 1996 and an edited version is still running now. I got the current one from the COI TV Fillers website: http://www.coitvfillers.co.uk. If you can convince them to give you a password (I got one because I linked them to this site) you can log in and view all the latest modern PIFs.
Sounds obvious, but it's still the case that people think the British Consul can get you out of jail if you are caught smuggling drugs abroad. I know someone who served time for illegal weapons trafficking in Europe and thought she'd go free because she was a British citizen - didn't happen. Just don't bloody do it, OK? And stay tuned for "The Finishing Line" and more.
One of the PIFs I want to obtain from Film Images is the World Cup 2000 drug smuggling one featuring Gary Lineker and David Ginola, but until I get it, here's one on the same theme: http://tmf.ecwhost.com/extra/media/PIF-PIFS-DRUGSABROAD-PUB-1970s.rm. TMF says it's from 1970.
(Ordinary pub with background noise of people chattering. Two men, one tall and besuited, the other bearded and Scottish, are drinking pints and talking to the barman, who slightly resembles the publican in "Only Fools and Horses")
BARMAN: Ken (I think) not coming in tonight?
1ST MAN: No, he'll be in later. British Consul's ringing him tonight with the result of Geoff's trial. His case came up today.
2ND MAN: It's nearly a year he's been held out there. It's criminal!
BARMAN: Give over. (Waves a finger) What Geoff did, THAT's criminal.
2ND MAN: Just 'cause he gets caught carrying a piece of dope. He was just a bit unlucky, that's all.
1ST MAN: Yeah - anyway, I don't suppose he'll get more than a fine.
BARMAN: Don't be too sure, Pete. I've been going to Spain for twenty years now and I've heard of plenty of cases where they got several years for doing drugs.
1ST MAN: Yeah, but Geoff weren't carrying that much. And it's his first offence.
2ND MAN: And he's already done a year waiting trial. They're bound to let him off. (Waves glass to demonstrate)
BARMAN: (Sighs) Look, there's people abroad doing time who didn't even know they were carrying drugs. They just took a parcel through Customs for other people.
2ND MAN: You'd think the Consul could have got him out, wouldn't you?
BARMAN: (he laughs) He can't, can he? (The other two look disheartened) I mean, the law's the law, whatever country you're in. He can come and visit you, help you find a lawyer and that, and help pass messages back home. But he can't alter the law of the land. Anyway, young Geoff could be a lot worse off. He could be facing a death sentence in Malaysia or Thailand, you know. (Gestures)
(Another man comes in and goes up to the bar)
3RD MAN: I don't believe it!
2ND MAN: What?
3RD MAN: They've given him four years!
1ST MAN: Four years?!
3RD MAN: His Mam's in a right state.
(They all turn to leave)
BARMAN: Hey! (They turn round again) I wonder how his - what's her name - his girlfriend's gonna take it?
3RD MAN: Ex - girlfriend, you mean. She's getting married next month!
(Scene changes to the exterior of the pub as the camera slowly zooms out)
VO: If you break the law in other countries, you might not see home for a very long time.
I can't find the Film Images entry for this film so I don't have any more background information, but with friends like this, who needs enemies? The mesage I get from this is "Don't smuggle drugs. Not only are you liable to be locked up for years but your so - called mates will be stabbing you in the back as well and your bird will go off with someone else."
Then there's "Holiday of a Lifetime" which was, according to Film Images, first broadcast in 1996 and an edited version is still running now. I got the current one from the COI TV Fillers website: http://www.coitvfillers.co.uk. If you can convince them to give you a password (I got one because I linked them to this site) you can log in and view all the latest modern PIFs.
(We open with black and white visuals of a man in a prison cell, as the bars open and he files out with other inmates)
VO: If you get into trouble in another country,
(Change scene. A big, scary, foreign prison officer - think 1970s Guardia Civil during the Franco era in Spain - is silently ranting and raving at someone. An interpreter is translating for our reluctant jailbird)
the British Consul can get you legal help - but end up in jail
(Change scene. Colourful shots of people dancing in a club, with background of trancey music. We see a bag of drugs being passed from hand to hand)
and they can't get you out.
(The offender, still in colour, is led away by foreign police in black and white, with police cars and sirens sounding)
Break another country's laws and you become a criminal, not a tourist.
(Change scene. Back in black and white, the man is in a prison cell. The door clangs shut. Fade to black. Endline and VO: "Stay Legal Abroad", with the FCO "Know Before You Go" logo at the top of the screen)
Sounds obvious, but it's still the case that people think the British Consul can get you out of jail if you are caught smuggling drugs abroad. I know someone who served time for illegal weapons trafficking in Europe and thought she'd go free because she was a British citizen - didn't happen. Just don't bloody do it, OK? And stay tuned for "The Finishing Line" and more.
Procedures
Following an extended absence after the death of someone close to me (don't worry, it was pneumonia, not passive smoking or a drinking driver) I'm back and I'm trying to get an appointment with Film Images for next week, so suggestions still welcome. Meanwhile, thanks to the lovely Applemask, I've discovered YouTube user wuzzlevideos, who has an arseload of old road safety PIFs and I'll be profiling some of them here.
So, if the mid - '90s anti speeding films Don't Look Now and Funeral Blues (http://takingthepif.blogspot.com/2007/04/funeral-bluesdont-look-now.html) weren't enough to convince Britain's boy racers to hit the brakes, this 1997 follow up should have ensured the message was received. With thanks to the aforementioned wuzzlevideos, you can see it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOnF8citByU. The Think! website says of the campaign:
And if you were thinking of joining the old bill but road fatalities aren't your area of expertise, here's how the pros do it:
Again, we've got the endline "So please, let's all slow down" and the "Kill your speed" hand logo.
Look out for review of full - length The Finishing Line up next, probably tonight but might be tomorrow.
So, if the mid - '90s anti speeding films Don't Look Now and Funeral Blues (http://takingthepif.blogspot.com/2007/04/funeral-bluesdont-look-now.html) weren't enough to convince Britain's boy racers to hit the brakes, this 1997 follow up should have ensured the message was received. With thanks to the aforementioned wuzzlevideos, you can see it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOnF8citByU. The Think! website says of the campaign:
'Procedures'
£3.5m TV and radio campaign - September/October 1997
Creative treatment
Continuing the home video theme, a 60s commercial uses new footage of children who were subsequently killed by speeding motorists in urban areas. A voice-over explains some of the procedures police officers should follow when breaking news of a death to the family of a road accident victim. Advertising carried the endline 'So please let's all slow down' 'Kill your speed'. Three 10s silent versions show a still image of a child followed by the captions. Family members again talk about the loss of their child in radio commercials and ask drivers to slow down.
And if you were thinking of joining the old bill but road fatalities aren't your area of expertise, here's how the pros do it:
"All officers delivering the message must appreciate the implications of their task. News of the death should be broken with compassion and tact by the officer, without the use of jargon. Great care must be taken in the use of language; for the families, the word 'accident' is in many cases totally inappropriate. Property should not be returned in a distasteful condition, and consideration should be given to having it professionally cleaned. Given the often appalling injuries sustained by the victims, officers may choose to advise family members not to view the body. However, the long term importance of saying 'goodbye' is well documented."
Again, we've got the endline "So please, let's all slow down" and the "Kill your speed" hand logo.
Look out for review of full - length The Finishing Line up next, probably tonight but might be tomorrow.
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